Tag Archives: Empathy

5 ways to act in an emotionally intelligent way when confronted with mean behaviour

A Balanced Life, Emotional Intelligence, , , , ,

Dealing with mean behaviour can be challenging, but responding with emotional intelligence can help diffuse conflicts and maintain your composure. Here are five ways to act in an emotionally intelligent way when confronted with such behaviour:

  1. Stay Calm and Composed: Maintain your emotional balance by staying calm and composed in the face of mean behaviour. Take deep breaths and avoid reacting impulsively. This helps you think clearly and respond effectively without escalating the situation.
  2. Practice Empathy: Try to understand the underlying reasons behind the person’s behaviour. Often, people who act mean may be dealing with their own insecurities or personal issues. By empathizing with their situation, you can respond in a more compassionate and understanding manner.
  3. Set Boundaries: Firmly and respectfully establish your boundaries. Let the person know that their behaviour is not acceptable to you, and you expect to be treated with respect. Use “I” statements to express your feelings, such as “I feel hurt when you say/do this.”
  4. Use Active Listening: Listen actively to what the person is saying without interrupting. Show that you are genuinely interested in their perspective, even if you disagree. This can help de-escalate the situation and create an environment where they may be more open to constructive communication.
  5. Choose Your Battles Wisely: Not every mean comment or action requires a response. Sometimes, it’s best to ignore minor incidents and not give them the attention they seek. Focus your energy on addressing the more significant issues or conflicts that truly matter to you.

Remember that dealing with mean behaviour may require ongoing efforts, and it’s essential to prioritize your well-being and mental health. If the situation continues or escalates, consider seeking support from friends, family, or a professional counsellor who can provide guidance on how to handle it effectively.

Emotional Intelligence

A Balanced Life, Coaching, , ,

Emotional Intelligence (EI) is the ability to recognize, understand, and manage one’s own emotions, as well as to perceive and respond to the emotions of others in the moment.

It involves being aware of one’s own feelings, being able to regulate those emotions, and using that understanding to interact effectively with others. This  is especially important when working with teams – either in the workplace or in a volunteer capacity.
Emotional Intelligence has been shown to be an important factor in personal and professional success, as it can help individuals communicate effectively, build and maintain relationships, and navigate complex social situations.

It is also associated with better mental health outcomes and can help individuals cope with stress and adversity.
There are several components of Emotional Intelligence, including self-awareness, stress management, teamwork and collaboration, empathy, and other social skills.

These can be developed and improved through practice and training, and as a Certified Social and Emotional Intelligence  coach I offer regular workshops and presentations to help individuals and organizations build their emotional intelligence skills.

 

Empathy

A Balanced Life, , ,

EmpathyEmpathy is one of 26 key competencies in the 4 Quadrant Model of Social + Emotional Intelligence®. Emotional Intelligence is about being aware of not only of yourself as well as others. Empathy is also about how to manage behaviours and relationships.

So what is empathy? Who has it and what are the signs of someone who doesn’t have it?

The Oxford Dictionary defines empathy as “The ability to understand and share the feelings of another”. The definition that I have on my own SEI profile is “- sensing others’ feelings and perspectives, and taking an active interest in their concerns; the ability to put yourself in another’s place and to take that perspective into account in your relationship with the other person.”

You would expect most therapists and coaches to have empathy with their clients as they listen for and observe both spoken and unspoken cues. In my humble opinion, if you come across a therapist or coach that lacks this quality….. find someone else.  There are several signs that pinpoint that someone is lacking in this competency. Firstly, they will tend to stereotype others. Another clue is the inability to “read” people or their emotions and respond without considering how another might feel about that response. A third and telling sign is that they are often in conflict and don’t take any personal responsibility for creating these situations.

Whether you believe in unseen energies or not, humans are energy beings and the research undertaken by the HeartMath Institute has shown that the energy field generated by the heart can influence both our emotional responses and those of others nearby. Of course, you don’t have to be a therapist to have empathy, you may be a good listener – which is always a good start.

The good news is, that if someone is lacking in empathy, there are ways to develop this important emotional intelligence competency. It is possible to learn how to become more empathetic. For instance, to be a good listener, you first need to quiet the chatter in your mind. Too often people are forming responses before the speaker has finished. Above all, a regular meditation practice will help you to listen with a clear mind. Practice the power of the pause.  This will help you to respond in a manner that shows sensitivity to the speaker. Learn to paraphrase what you think you have heard and most importantly withhold judgement as everyone has a different perspective.

Needless to say, if you feel that you need to develop this particular intelligence or any of the other 26 competencies for Emotional Intelligence, then schedule a Discovery Session or some coaching sessions.

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