We all have issues… some big, some small and it is our response that determines the outcome.
Do you have a default behaviour that you return to when an issue pops its head up and confronts you?
Do you face it head on and resolve to create a positive outcome?
Do you react in ways that make you or others around you uncomfortable?
What is the risk to you if you continue to respond this way?
A client recently wanted to discuss how to handle an issue with a person that he has known for some 30 plus years. Never really close, he became aware that this person was “giving off negative vibes” but didn’t know why.
The issue came to a head recently when he was walking into a garden centre and walking straight towards him was this person. He smiled and went to say “hello”, whereupon the other person turned their head and walked off in a different direction. The client described how he felt his insides turn and he felt like a small child at school again. He described how one part of him wanted to pursue the person and confront him, yet another part of him just wanted to cry as he felt abandoned.
I handed him a poem that I have found useful to refer to over the years :
Reason, Season, Lifetime
People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.
Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.
LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.
Brian Andrew Chalker
After several sessions, he came to the conclusion that any previous friendship was fractured beyond repair and decided that he would let it go. He had extended the hand of friendship and reconciliation several times over the last few years, but was being rebuffed each time …. Each time he experienced an internal response of a profound sense of rejection. He was no longer comfortable with feeling this way and wanted to change how he reacted yet was saddened that they had not been able to communicate with each other to resolve any problems in earlier times. In the hypnotic state, the client then expressed gratitude to his friend for having been in his life for a season and asked for forgiveness for any hurts that he may have unintentionally caused.
After that session he said that he had realized it was almost like picking at a scab …..the wound opens up again, the skin weeps a bit and a new scab is formed, but if you do this too often the skin hardens up and a scar is made.