Category Archives: A Balanced Life

Farewell to the Feathered Friends (and a Lifetime of “Stuff”)

A Balanced Life, Abundance, ,

After twenty-three years in one house, I’ve discovered that stuff breeds quietly in cupboards when you’re not looking. Some of it’s mine, some inherited from my late parents, and some… well, I have no idea where it came from.

There are the “too good to use” things that have spent decades waiting for their grand debut — linens, crockery, candles — and are now destined for the op shop, still pristine and slightly offended. There are sentimental items that tug gently at the heart, and others that make me wonder why on earth I ever kept them. I like to think of this as a “pre-emptive death clean.” It’s a kindness for the kids — I’m clearing out the clutter without actually dying. A generous gesture, don’t you think?

Packing up has its moments of nostalgia, but it’s the thought of the farewells to my feathered friends that bring the real lump to the throat.

On the eastern side of the house live the big personalities — Mr and Mrs Magpie, who proudly introduced their babies every spring before leaving them on my deck like daycare drop-offs in the days before we adopted the dog.

Then there are the raucous Currawongs, cheeky Cockatoos, Magpie Larks, and the occasional Butcherbird or King Parrot and more recently a pair of nesting Crows. The Indian and Noisy Mynahs, of course, never miss a chance to check for leftovers — self-appointed quality control. This year we had another unexpected visitor – a Pacific Duck – who decided to have an extended sojourn on the deck one afternoon. The only bird that Lucy the Labrador has showed any interest in!

The western side is a gentler crowd. The feathered friends that gather around the birdbath are Wattlebirds, Eastern Spinebills, Doves, Mr and Mrs Blackbird (who constantly rearrange the mulch in the garden) and my ever-curious Spotted Pardalotes — who like to tap on my window as if to remind me they’re the real landlords here. I had thought that the neighbour’s cat had wiped out their little colony, so it’s a delight to see them back again.

The birdbath itself is a scene of daily theatre: splashy enthusiasm, queue-jumping, feather-fluffing, and the final triumphant shake before take-off. Doesn’t matter if it’s the middle of winter — the show must go on.

As I sort, box, and donate, I’m realising that letting go of things isn’t the hard part. It’s saying goodbye to the small rituals and the creatures that became part of my everyday story. It’s realising that I will never see fruit on the pomegranate tree outside my window, grown from a seed and entering it’s eighth year, although it will eventually fill the space where the bird bath is. This year the mandarin and apple trees are putting forward their best blossom show in years, so the new owners should have a bountiful crop of fruit when its ready.

Still, new skies await towards the end of November — and I like to think that at the new house, the local birdlife will soon get word that there’s a soft-hearted human who keeps a well-filled birdbath and an open heart. There’s nectar filled trees to plant and rest on already planned!

Endings and Beginnings

A Balanced Life, dreaming, , , ,

When Endings Are Really New Beginnings

Life has a funny way of playing musical chairs with us. One moment, the music is going, we’re twirling about happily, and then—suddenly—it stops. All of a sudden a chair we thought was ours disappears, a chapter wraps up, and we find ourselves blinking in the silence, wondering, what now?  That pause, though sometimes uncomfortable, isn’t really the end of the game. It’s the invitation to notice: a new round is about to begin. A different chair, a fresh perspective, a surprising possibility is waiting.

Endings and beginnings….

We often hear the phrase, when one door closes, another opens. And it’s true — but what’s rarely mentioned is the hallway in between. That liminal space where the old door has clicked shut but the new one hasn’t swung wide yet. Indeed, it’s here that we’re asked to pause, breathe, and listen deeply. The hallway is where the soul whispers its secrets.

Endings and beginnings….

In the Tarot, The World card carries this energy beautifully. It marks completion, wholeness, and the graceful closing of a cycle. But rather than a final curtain call, The World is a portal. It says, “You’ve danced this dance, and now the stage is clear for the next.” It’s not the end of the story — it’s a graduation into the next chapter of an unfolding journey.

I’m in the process of moving house and still in the stage of sorting 23 years of accumulated “stuff”. Chapters of life that have finished, like University notes, adult children’s kindergarten pictures and books that will never get re-read. I’m grateful for all those chapters. It’s also about setting aside projects or workshops as there’s simply not the energy or the time to fit it all in.  By allowing yourself time off, remember: you’re not losing ground. It’s self care. You’re doing the clearing. Releasing the past as you’re preparing the soil for the next dream to take root.

Endings and beginnings….

And maybe, just maybe, the real magic lies in the pause itself. That quiet moment between the old and the new, where the music hasn’t started up again, think of the space between the notes, and realising the room is alive with possibility.

Meanwhile, it’s time to make a cup of tea, lean into the spaciousness, and ask yourself: If the world has just closed one door for me, what fresh threshold might I be about to cross?

Tides, Terminals, and the Turn of a Leaf

A Balanced Life, lessons learned, , , ,

I came into the world on a tide—once, twice, the family cast off from familiar shores and sailed halfway across the world, not so much fleeing as following a call no one could name. Dad was always chasing something elusive and the grass always seemed greener elsewhere.

Childhood was a series of ships and tea chests, sometimes packed in haste and unpacked with quiet hope, where the sun felt strange and each place had a characteristic scent.

Where the sky was different. A contrast of pale skies hemmed in with close horizons and wide, open and vibrant skies. The horizon shimmering in the summer sun. Terminals for ships and trains. Both with the smell of big diesel engines getting ready to transport us to the next adventure.

We left village life and suburbia like shedding an old skin. One last tuckshop order wrapped in greaseproof paper before the energy of the bush claimed us.

There, time moved with the rustle of the old peppercorn tree planted at the front gate, and school clothes gathered red dust.

No uniforms here. What a contrast to the genteel atmosphere of the old school house and English gardens surrounding it, that had been left behind.

The few trees became tutors. Their lessons were soft but lasting: patience, stillness, and the sacred art of finding your way in tangled things. The undersides of tree leaves turning skyward in anticipation of rain.

Living in the bush carved another layer into me—a love for wide skies, pockets filled with rocks and feathers, a bicycle basket of Sturt Desert Pea flowers and a tendency to personify trees like old friends. It’s probably why I talk to plants and feel oddly soothed by the smell of eucalyptus and campfire smoke.

Changing schools felt like hopping stones across a river. Some were slick and uncertain; others caught me mid-leap with surprising kindness. I learned early how to read a room—then a country, then a climate.

I carried no accent, but spoke the unspoken dialect of adapting: listen first, laugh second, lay your roots lightly.

It’s no wonder, then, that now I read maps like tea leaves and find kinship in people with weathered stories. I can sense when a place won’t hold me—or when it already has. My bookshelf groans with collections of history books, novels and the metaphysical. My house is half sanctuary, half holder of memories where my own children grew up.

I still find comfort in the smell of books and eucalyptus. I was prone to rearranging the furniture when a storm brews, but when the last dog aged and became blind that practice had to stop.

I keep feathers like promises. I collect things I probably shouldn’t—seeds, old things, oracle cards….

I gravitate toward eclectic conversations and people with unusual earrings. I can’t commit to one tea, Yes, I have a whole cupboard devoted to different teas. And I still have a habit of subconsciously checking for exit signs in cafés, a relic of all those unfamiliar places.

Some call it restlessness. I prefer to think of it as tidal memory—my life still syncing to that first great departure from the warmth of the tropics to a cool English climate and then onto the wide open spaces of Australia..

A life shaped by tides, terminals and the turn of a leaf. Charting constellations both above and within. Sure, the constant moving meant I never had one “hometown,” but I did inherit a deep sense that home isn’t a place—it’s a patchwork quilt of moments, people, and curious habits stitched together with every hello and goodbye.

The Golden Era of Friendship

A Balanced Life, ,

Ah, the golden era of friendship: when you and your friends were wild, and possibly a bit unhinged, some were wise —but your friends for a lifetime. Or so you thought.

Now? Over the years, some have died (how dare they): to motorcycle accidents, medical conditions and unfortunately, some to old age. Those left may have drifted off into conspiracy or political  theory territory,  and a few… well, let’s just say the restricted or block button on social media has become your new best friend… as you find the need to scroll on by for your own mental health. Ah, the golden era of friendship!

Meanwhile, I’m knee-deep in the archaeological dig that is clearing out the family home.  Nothing says “character-building” like unearthing forgotten cooking treasures, a plethora of lids, that don’t match any containers, a cupboard full of seasonal wrapping paper and bags , and every birthday card ever written between 1979 and last year.

There’s a certain grief in letting go of a place that’s been a sanctuary for such a long time and moving on. A place that’s seen high school and University graduations. Births, weddings and funerals – not necessarily in that order. It’s weird. It shows up as laughter in the middle of vacuuming the carpets, as rage at a bird as it craps on your perfectly cleaned windows, and as quiet disbelief that somehow you’re the adult now.

Still standing.

Slightly dusty.

But still standing.

Straight and Narrow

A Balanced Life, Coaching, ,

perspective, straight and narrow thinking

Life can be perceived through various lenses, each offering distinct pathways and outcomes. One approach is the straight and narrow perspective, which emphasizes adherence to familiar routes, structured routines, and well-established beliefs. This method of viewing life can provide individuals with a sense of security and predictability, as it offers clear guidelines and boundaries to navigate the complexities of existence.

For example, many people find comfort in following traditional career paths, such as pursuing a stable job with a consistent schedule, which can lead to financial stability and a predictable lifestyle.

In contrast, an expansive, open-minded approach to life encourages exploration and the embracing of new experiences and ideas. This perspective involves questioning established norms, embracing change, and considering multiple viewpoints. By doing so, individuals can foster personal growth, innovation, and a deeper understanding of the world and themselves.

For instance, those who opt for this path might choose to travel extensively, engage in diverse cultural experiences, or pursue careers that challenge the status quo, such as in creative industries or entrepreneurial ventures. This approach can lead to significant personal development and a more comprehensive view of the world. Statistics show that individuals who adopt an open-minded attitude often report higher levels of life satisfaction and well-being.

 Ultimately, the decision between maintaining a straight and narrow view or adopting an expansive perspective is influenced by personal preferences and life circumstances.

Each path offers unique benefits and challenges. For some, a structured approach may provide the stability they need, while others may thrive in environments that encourage exploration and innovation. Finding a balance between these two perspectives can lead to a fulfilling and enriched life, allowing individuals to experience the security of routine while remaining open to growth and new possibilities.

Time and Tide

A Balanced Life, , ,

The quote “Time and tide wait for no man” – attributed to Chaucer is written on a side plate that I have used since a small child. The time seems to have flown since the last posting here and that could also be attributed to age!!

Late last year we put the city house on the market and in hindsight (such a wonderful thing) the timing was awry. Too close to Christmas, interest rates, the annual Australian shutdown over summer….. so many reasons. There was a mad rush to declutter some 20+ years of stuff and furniture settings were hired for several rooms in time for the photos.

Energetically, the rooms that had the hired furniture for the photos made it feel like it was no longer “home”. Not for sitting on, just for show. New, unfamiliar energies entered the house, with the stress of making sure everything was spick and span for inspections, plus the energies of strangers and neighbours as they traversed each room, opened drawers and cupboards and viewed the garden. Some days felt like we needed more sage than usual.

Christmas and January passed in a blur. Time and tide wait for no man. Inspections on weekends. Grandchildren came frolicked in the sparkling swimming pool during the school holidays. Downside to that meant that there was frequent window washing looking out onto the pool area from the jumping in. Upside was that they developed confidence in their swimming.

February saw workshops starting up again and there was frustration at finding that I had packed so many of my books that help me with my research. And so February morphed into March and soon it will be April. Time and tide wait for no man.

New Moon New Year

A Balanced Life, ,

A second New Moon for December 2024 and here in Australia it falls on the last day of the year. Called a “Black Moon” as two new moons in a calendar month are not often experienced, it has come at an ideal time. New Moons are about manifesting / setting goals for the month ahead. With the new year of 2025 ahead of us, it’s an ideal time to write a new chapter.

Never mind the New Year “resolutions” – most of those go by the wayside before the first two months of the year have finished! See this as an opportunity to review where you have been focusing your energy on and decide if that is what you want to continue to do in the months ahead.

Imagine if you no longer invested your attention or energy into the things that didn’t work for you in 2024 and focused on what is possible in the coming months.

Dream large and set some goals for the year – starting with the end in mind and work backwards to flesh out the steps needed to achieve them month by month, week by week, day by day. It’s the little steps (coaches call this “action”) and it will enable you to turn those dreams into reality.

The Power of Art Therapy for Stress Management

A Balanced Life, Art Therapy, , , ,

Regular art therapy sessions offer a creative, gentle way to reduce your stress and boost mental well-being. By focusing on the process—not the outcome—of creating art, you can experience:

🧠 Mindfulness: Engaging in creative activities naturally promotes mindfulness, helping you stay present and release worries about the past or future.

✨ Emotional Release: Art provides a safe outlet to express feelings that might be hard to put into words.

💪 Increased Resilience: Reflecting through art helps you process emotions, building inner strength and resilience over time.

There’s no artistic skill required—just a willingness to explore! Art therapy can be a powerful tool for reducing stress and nurturing your mental health.

Setting Boundaries

A Balanced Life, Emotional Intelligence, , , ,

Setting Boundaries with Frenemies

In every social circle, there are friends, acquaintances, and then, occasionally, frenemies. Frenemies, or those who present themselves as friends but act in ways that undermine you, can be challenging to navigate. Establishing boundaries with frenemies is crucial for maintaining mental and emotional well-being.

Here’s a comprehensive guide to help you set those boundaries effectively and protect your well-being.
First – Understand the Frenemy Dynamic

Frenemies can often be subtle in their undermining actions, making it tricky to identify and address their behavior. Common traits of frenemies include:

  • Gossiping: They may spread rumors or talk negatively about you behind your back.
  • Backhanded Compliments: Their compliments often come with an undercurrent of negativity
  • Inconsistency in Behavior: They may be supportive one moment and critical the next.
  • Competition: They seem to view your achievements as a threat rather than a cause for celebration.

Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward setting necessary boundaries.

Why Boundaries Are Important.

Boundaries are essential in any relationship to ensure mutual respect and understanding. With frenemies, boundaries help protect your self-esteem, mental health, and overall well-being. They prevent the frenemy from having undue influence over your emotions and actions.

6 Steps to Establish Boundaries

  1. Identify the Behaviors That Need Addressing: Be clear about what actions or behaviors from the frenemy are unacceptable to you. This clarity will help you communicate your boundaries effectively.
  2. Communicate Clearly and Assertively: When setting boundaries, use “I” statements to express your feelings without sounding accusatory. For example, “I feel uncomfortable when you make jokes at my expense,” instead of “You always insult me.”
  3. Limit Personal Information Sharing: Keep your conversations with frenemies surface-level. Avoid sharing sensitive or personal information that they could use against you.
  4. Set Limits on Interaction: Decide how much time and energy you want to invest in the relationship. It’s okay to decline invitations or distance yourself if interactions with the frenemy leave you feeling drained or upset.
  5. Be Consistent: Consistency is key to maintaining boundaries. If a frenemy crosses a line, address it every time it happens. This reinforces your boundaries and shows that you are serious about them.
  6. Seek Support from True Friends: Surround yourself with friends who genuinely support and uplift you. Their positive influence can help counterbalance any negativity from frenemies.

Strategies for Maintaining Boundaries

  • Practice Self-Care: Prioritize activities that boost your mental and emotional health. Exercise, hobbies, and relaxation can help you stay resilient against any negativity from frenemies.
  • Reevaluate the Relationship: Over time, assess whether maintaining a relationship with a frenemy is worth the effort. Sometimes, it’s healthier to let go of toxic relationships altogether.
  • Use Social Media Wisely: Be mindful of your interactions on social media. You can unfollow or mute a frenemy without fully severing ties, reducing their presence in your digital life.

Dealing with Reactions

Frenemies might resist or react negatively to your boundaries. They might try to guilt-trip you, manipulate situations, or increase their negative behavior. Stand firm and remember why you set those boundaries in the first place. If necessary, limit your contact further or seek advice from a trusted friend or counsellor. Better still, work on strengthening your own Emotional Intelligence so that you can construct effective boundaries.

Establishing and maintaining boundaries with frenemies is a proactive step toward safeguarding your emotional and mental well-being. By identifying problematic behaviors, communicating assertively, and being consistent, you can manage these challenging relationships more effectively. Remember, it’s okay to prioritize your happiness and peace of mind over maintaining a relationship that brings negativity into your life.

Catching up

A Balanced Life, , ,

It’s been a while since the last post here. Catching up on the last couple of months may take some time!

emotions and artWorkshops

It has been wonderful to have participants from the Art Therapy workshops continue each term, regardless of whether the workshop is during the day or late evening.  Sometimes it’s been a challenge to create activities to build on their previous sessions, as well as engaging the new participants! Often lots of laughter when those “ah-ha” moments and insights happen!

Another workshop I’ve been delivering is a pre-learning  program for people with lived experience of mental health challenges. The participants are often interested in “paying it forward” to become Peer Support workers. This program can be challenging due to the sensitive nature of issues disclosed by participants, but I’m fortunate in that I have a wise and caring supervisor  that I can de-brief to when necessary.

At one stage I contemplated applying for a position teaching the advanced program with an accredited organization and actually sent off a resume. That certainly triggered my own issues with returning to a formal education setting and I subsequently withdrew the application.

The Retreat

It’s a decade or slightly more, since the retreat was acquired and I’m pleased to say that it is still organically maintained. Annual mowing of the larger paddock has created better soil moisture as the grass, when slashed, is left as mulch. In turn, this helps to smother some of the weeds. Having not being able to travel there during the lock downs has meant that a different set of weeds popped up and these are being removed by digging them out as they appear.  More planting of trees and shrubs, both deciduous and native has happened. The wildlife has kindly spared the salt bush plantings, although the resident Swamp Wallaby has taken a liking to pruning my pots of peppermint and geraniums.

The labyrinths have fallen into disrepair and a decision has to be made whether to refurbish them or to restore the areas to how they were before.

Refurbishment for the larger 7 ring Cretan labyrinth would mean a lot of digging to redefine the paths and restoration would mean removing the stones and jonquil bulbs from one of the rings.

Don’t forget the sunscreen!

Health wise, a seemingly innocuous spot on the face turned out that it wasn’t due to the aging process and needed to be removed. Dressings on the wound made it very obvious that I’d had a procedure done and although I was very self conscious about it, was able to encourage others to get  regular skin checks. A couple of setbacks with infections of the wound site -a closed eye and bruising is never a good look! People assume all sorts of other scenarios. Fortunately, all is good now and the experience and process has been an invaluable learning experience.