Beginnings & endings

“The time has come,” the Walrus said, “to talk of many things”…………..
“But wait a bit” the Oysters cried, “before we have our chat; for some of us are out of breath and all of us are fat!”
This has been a week to catch my breath and I have been given a wonderful opportunity to review so many things, for which I am very grateful. Whilst thinking about gratitude, a few key people come to mind.
New friends in particular and I am touched by their generosity of spirit after having been through some difficult times.
The past few years have been a turning point and having made the decision to leave the formal education system at the end of 2010 and strike out on my own has been a decision that I have not regretted even though there have been some personal challenges in the first part of this year.
As the advertisements for the Northern Territory (one of my favourite destinations) says – ” You’ll never, never know if you never, never go”.  And this year has been all about that – exploration.
A pro-bono coaching contact has turned into a joint venture exploration of the soul and workshops for like minded people.
New networks have been formed with some amazing women, who are all on their own journeys and all at different stages.
There is an abundance of giving and sharing which has contrasted sharply with some of my previous experiences in schools.
Such a rich and varied group of talented people have crossed my path since letting go of trying to conform to the education system and not be the person I really am. I am slipping that “Japanese mask” off, and  like a chrysalis shedding its case and emerging as a butterfly, once the wings dry, I look forward to flying……
In the process of letting go and learning new ways, some old friends have disappeared & that’s OK.
There is a wonderful poem about having people in your life for a
Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.
When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support; to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.
Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. 

Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.
— Unknown

This last week has been one of intense review.
I have to say quite bluntly that I was scared.
Fear in bigger than capital letters screamed from every pore and cell of my body.
Scheduled to have a cardiac ablation, I was close to cancelling the procedure several times. The cardiologist I had seen weeks ago, had referred me on to another one and feelings of being abandoned came up. The symptoms persisted as I continued to battle with trust issues as well.
The day of the procedure was like a textbook glossary of stress symptoms.  All the symptoms were there – dry mouth, stomach in a knot, digestive issues…..all well known as this is the basis of my talks! Ha! living it now!! Being last on the list didn’t help much either. Eventually the anaethetist came for a chat and to administer pre-op relaxants. At this stage, I had pretty much convinced myself that I had worked myself up into a ‘state’ and it was all in the mind, panic attacks or anxiety and I could have been at home…..

The cardiologist arrived and explained the procedure and I handed over my heart to this magician and went to sleep…… I had some great dreams on the way back, but forgot them when they told me that they had found some rogue circuits and sorted them out.
So how to reframe all of this?
Plenty of time to think about it in the four hours when I had to lie perfectly still after coming back to consciousness.
What an opportunity to start a new and positive chapter!
Literally take the ablation of the heart as a burning out of old patterns and resentments and put all that no longer serves – aside – permanently.
It is a new season and some things or people will be here and some will not. It is a time to let unhelpful pathways grow over and regenerate, and in particular let the old wounds and resentments be healed by cauterization.
Above all, it is important to use this time to nurture body and soul so that I can continue my journey in the company of some truly beautiful people.
To those who have supported me, heartfelt thanks.
For some others, thankyou for the season that we have spent together and for a few, thankyou for the reason that we connected, acknowledge the gifts we exchanged between our souls and realize that it is time to move on.