Tag Archives: Trust


We all have an innate desire to protect what we already have and our ego will go to great lengths to make sure that what drives us will make us look good and get it right.  One of our key drivers is to feel a sense of certainty in our lives and to feel significant.

For some, self doubt will creep in and for a few this may lead to feelings of hopelessness or helplessness fueled by a lack of choice. Yet others will demonstrate a great flexibility in their behaviour and choose to focus on what they want. The mind is a funny thing, it’s actually a great goal setting machine and it will take you to where ever you choose to go..

The reality is that we all have a choice on what we focus on and you need to develop a keen sense of knowing if you are getting what you really want.

Check in using various strategies – ask yourself if you can see, hear or feel if this is right for you.

Check your language – is it positive or negative?  The mind works in symbols and you can shift the way that you are thinking about you by creating a vision that is exciting and inspiring.

Make it a clear vision and start to take responsibility for your goals and aspirations. I’m sure you have heard the saying “life is not a dress rehearsal”. Take a moment to go within and set some goals to be the best you can be…. knowing that you have most of the resources that you need within you already!

Steps to take:

  • Be clear about the outcome.
  • Take action
  • Be aware if what you are doing is working
  • Be willing to be flexible if necessary
  • Believe…..trust your unconscious mind as it will always tell you what it needs…. are you listening to it?


Planting seeds at balance4lifeWith the end of the financial year upon us, new goals are set for the following quarter, much as once the ground becomes a little warmer, we will sow our spring crops.

Plant those seeds too early and the frost, much like the weeds of anger, avarice, envy and doubt will hold back a successful harvest.

By focusing on your goals and making them clear, you will simplify your life and / or your business. If you are looking for some certainty in your life, then using tried and tested goal setting models will simplify the process. Trust that by doing this, you are allowing your energy to flow more readily and actually help to turn those thoughts into reality.

A dream is a goal without a deadline….

Reflect on what you have been focusing on… it is said that you create more of whatever you focus on…. so make it positive! Release anything that hasn’t worked and let it go with gratitude and grace, because nothing stays the same for ever. Change can create great shifts of growth and awareness. Choosing to change a situation that has not turned out as expected can take some effort and is not necessarily a failure.  Be honest with yourself and identify and face the problem.  Are you in a negative or positive mindset? Fear based beliefs are  often carried over from childhood subconsciously and when they are cleared, there is often a quiet space in which you become self aware and open.  As you become more aware of your thoughts and the energy that they carry, you can better trust in the process and awaken to your full potential.

Achievable goals happen when you have clarity of thought… is this path leading me to where I really want to be or is it a diversion? Know what it is that you are aiming for.  It’s one thing to recognize opportunity…. the key to success is taking action!


TruthAs Tony Robbins put so succinctly in his book Awaken the Giant Within,

Values guide our every decision and, therefore, our destiny. Those who know their values and live by them become the leaders of our society.”

It is helpful to go over and review what our values are from time to time to see if we are heading in the right direction. Occasionally we can discover that we are in conflict with our values and then dig around a little to discover the emotions around the conflict.

One of my values is honesty. There have been times in my life where there has been conflict around this, particularly when I’m self sabotaging my success and I’m not overly proud of repeating the patterns.

Lately the values of honesty, trust and integrity have been coming up for me. Are they one and the same?

I’ll give you a couple of examples:

Firstly, I recently bought a floodlight for the shed up at the retreat. Not overly expensive but with a compact fluorescent globe in it to save on power.  I took it up to the retreat and discovered on opening the box that the globe had broken – there had been a small impact to the side of the box which caused the damage. The consensus amongst the gathered people was to take it back to the supplier on return to the city.

“No big deal “,you might say.

I didn’t sleep that night. I woke at one stage and realized that I had opened the box in the store and checked the globe against a shelf of other globes for size and pricing. The globe had been broken in transit…….I felt sick…..

When I mentioned this at breakfast, the group opinion was to take it back anyway and get a new one. Perhaps sensible as the cost of a new globe is more than the assembled floodlight.

I reflected on the night’s lack of sleep and what values and energy I intend to bring to the retreat and decided that I would buy a new globe regardless, and did so on my trip to the local hardware store later that day.

Secondly, a little while ago a woman called for an appointment.

I booked her in and when she arrived, she commented that it was a little further than she expected to drive. I asked her why and she said that when she looked at the website, the address was closer to home.

I had been working on a commission basis at a colleague’s practice and she had found me on that website, not my own. Oops!

I explained the difference and the session proceeded.

As she left she said, “Well you don’t have to tell xxxxx that I came here”…… But with my values, how could I not?  (& yes I did tell)


How do others perceive honesty?

Over the past few weeks I have observed that there are many shades of honesty and dishonesty. Layers of trust and distrust all wrapped up in the cloak of integrity…….

For example:

Is it dishonest to keep a $50 note found in a carpark?

How would you know the owner? I remember finding a note when I was a child and my mother taking me to tIntegrity 2he police station to hand it in. I returned months later and was given the note. Just last year I found a $50 note in a large, city carpark. Most of the other cars had departed and I pocketed the note, using it to pay the carparking and donated the balance to a good will tin at my local bakery.

What if the checkout person didn’t scan an item correctly so that it didn’t record?

Would you go back to pay for that item? Or think that the supermarket makes enough profit anyway or see it as a bonus for your loyalty in shopping there?

What if you went to a therapist and couldn’t use your credit card there? (maybe the internet was down or they didn’t have facilities for credit)

Would you try to pay as promptly as possible through a bank deposit or ignore the invoice? Perhaps you might make excuses that the therapy didn’t work. How would you know it hadn’t worked? Wouldn’t you still be paying for the time that person spent with you? Is the failure to pay, as much breaking the trust the therapist has in you as a lack of trust within yourself?

So does it boil down to honesty or is it integrity?

Susan M Heathfield says “Honesty and trust are central to integrity.”

I see it as a triangle – each side supporting the other and crucial to the strength within. When one is absent the structure no longer exists……