Category Archives: Choice

Change

You can choose to change or circumstances can cause change to happen in an instant, but there is one thing that is constant…..change is inevitable.

Our body changes constantly although it would seem that the thinking that our whole body is renewed every 7-10 years is not correct. Some cells, the neurons in the cerebral cortex are never renewed and others will renew at different rates.

When it comes to our outlook, a shift in perception or change of physical circumstances can create ripples of change that encourage us to grow. Removing yourself from the hustle and bustle of daily life for a while and taking a short meditation break gives you time to be as one with yourself and review if there are any necessary changes that need to be made.

These don’t have to be done immediately – make a list and have patience with yourself as you implement these changes. Acknowledging the changes you have consciously made will allow you to close the door on the past and open new doors and let you travel forward to new adventures. There may be some emotional attachment to the past or negativity that arises, so take a deep breath in and step back for a moment and review the issue, creating some welcome space in the meantime.

Ask yourself:  “What are the triggers  and what am I going to do about it?”

“How can I learn and grow from that experience or resolve any inner conflicts in a peaceful, loving way?”

Cooperate with yourself  in this process and create more balance in your life.

Believe

We all have an innate desire to protect what we already have and our ego will go to great lengths to make sure that what drives us will make us look good and get it right.  One of our key drivers is to feel a sense of certainty in our lives and to feel significant.

For some, self doubt will creep in and for a few this may lead to feelings of hopelessness or helplessness fueled by a lack of choice. Yet others will demonstrate a great flexibility in their behaviour and choose to focus on what they want. The mind is a funny thing, it’s actually a great goal setting machine and it will take you to where ever you choose to go..

The reality is that we all have a choice on what we focus on and you need to develop a keen sense of knowing if you are getting what you really want.

Check in using various strategies – ask yourself if you can see, hear or feel if this is right for you.

Check your language – is it positive or negative?  The mind works in symbols and you can shift the way that you are thinking about you by creating a vision that is exciting and inspiring.

Make it a clear vision and start to take responsibility for your goals and aspirations. I’m sure you have heard the saying “life is not a dress rehearsal”. Take a moment to go within and set some goals to be the best you can be…. knowing that you have most of the resources that you need within you already!

Steps to take:

  • Be clear about the outcome.
  • Take action
  • Be aware if what you are doing is working
  • Be willing to be flexible if necessary
  • Believe…..trust your unconscious mind as it will always tell you what it needs…. are you listening to it?

Mapping your Journey

Regardless of whether you use a GPS or a paper map, it is always interesting to review past journeys and to peruse which route to take for future ones.

Looking at where you have been, are there any milestones or waypoints that stand out?

Did the trip go as planned or did you have to be flexible and overcome uncertainty to end up where you are now?

Yet, you may have felt a sense of excitement when you discovered a road that led you to some spectacular scenery or a chance meeting with someone. Many of us have discovered that the GPS is not infallible and it has resulted in some interesting dead ends. There is an element of risk when using the GPS in unfamiliar surroundings and having a paper map tucked away somewhere will help you navigate in the face of uncertainty if that is what you are seeking.

What would happen if you relied entirely on the GPS or map?

How would it be if you got back to your internal compass and found that this gave you increased choices?

I remember a quote in a training many years ago that resonated with me…. “ Don’t wish life was easier, wish it was better.”

Letters I’ve written

Or should that be posts that I’ve written…. never meaning to send………
.. with apologies to the Moody Blues. This song came out way back, I had just moved to Melbourne for the first time (& yes, for a boy…maybe one day I will write about that).
Whenever I can catch some spare time from the clinic – usually when a client has rescheduled – I make an effort to sit down and write a few blog posts that I can post at a later date.

It’s interesting as I peruse the entries that I thought were pertinent….. so many of them no longer hold any meaning and don’t get posted. This document is like a journal, partly relating to my business persona and partly relating to events in my personal life. So often it is the writing down that leads to the catharsis and I believe it is important to leave some time and space before posting.
Just recently I’ve gone to post the next entry and hesitated…. I haven’t deleted the entry, because it was relevant at that time, but time and space has given me the wisdom to take into account whether it was a whinge or helpful to someone else.

“Beauty I’d always missed
With these eyes before,
Just what the truth is
I can’t say anymore.”

The beauty of doing this is that it is a reflection of my emotions at the time. Re-reading at a later date allows me to calibrate and look within to see if I have reacted to the situation or have applied the emotional intelligence techniques I seek to help others with.
Am I wise? Am I telling the truth?
We each have our own truth and expressing it to others may not be palatable to the recipient.

I have someone in my life who has written many letters, most probably on the advice of their therapist, and sent them….resulting in hurt and fracturing relationships. My advice is if you are to write these letters, do so and then burn them…..symbolically releasing the energy contained within to the Universe and thus letting go and letting a higher power (insert whichever deity you believe in here) take care of it for you. There have been several occasions recently when I have held my breath, waiting for a letter from this person after things didn’t go as they had planned. To tell the truth, I was a little disappointed that I didn’t get one as I was looking forward to composing a reply and thus stepping out of Emotional Intelligence.

There are other times where I may write about a something that was profound and on looking back at that moment realizing that I captured a moment of beauty….of realization ….that has led to an insight that I missed at the moment of writing. Like a sunrise or sunset, nothing stays the same…. Change is inevitable and these transitions can create amazing shifts in our consciousness. It’s all about letting go…..

Simplicity

Planting seeds at balance4lifeWith the end of the financial year upon us, new goals are set for the following quarter, much as once the ground becomes a little warmer, we will sow our spring crops.

Plant those seeds too early and the frost, much like the weeds of anger, avarice, envy and doubt will hold back a successful harvest.

By focusing on your goals and making them clear, you will simplify your life and / or your business. If you are looking for some certainty in your life, then using tried and tested goal setting models will simplify the process. Trust that by doing this, you are allowing your energy to flow more readily and actually help to turn those thoughts into reality.

A dream is a goal without a deadline….

Reflect on what you have been focusing on… it is said that you create more of whatever you focus on…. so make it positive! Release anything that hasn’t worked and let it go with gratitude and grace, because nothing stays the same for ever. Change can create great shifts of growth and awareness. Choosing to change a situation that has not turned out as expected can take some effort and is not necessarily a failure.  Be honest with yourself and identify and face the problem.  Are you in a negative or positive mindset? Fear based beliefs are  often carried over from childhood subconsciously and when they are cleared, there is often a quiet space in which you become self aware and open.  As you become more aware of your thoughts and the energy that they carry, you can better trust in the process and awaken to your full potential.

Achievable goals happen when you have clarity of thought… is this path leading me to where I really want to be or is it a diversion? Know what it is that you are aiming for.  It’s one thing to recognize opportunity…. the key to success is taking action!

5 steps to overcoming overwhelm

  1. When you are in overwhelm, it is helpful to think about what it is that you can do right now. By looking at the task as a whole and believebreaking it down into smaller, achievable tasks and thinking small for a moment, you will accomplish more. If there is a lack of movement in your life, consider how you can best use this time to move forward. When you have done that, look at today as the beginning of something new and positive, whilst letting go of the past.
  2. Declutter… you know the old adage…..” a tidy desk equals a tidy mind”…. But it’s more than that.. as you declutter; not only your desk, but your life… you free yourself to see a clear horizon and perhaps to answer your life purpose… Acknowledge that the journey is difficult at times. What skills, abilities do you already possess that will enable you to accomplish the tasks ahead? Look at what is positive in your life already……and try to go one day without any complaints….
  3. Believe in abundance. Trust that you can contribute to the Universe … to feel fear and lack is human…. Go into that feeling and learn from it and trust in the process of life…. map out on paper – or a white board – all the good things in your life already… we learn through the hard work that we do. Use your logic, your intuition and your spirituality to infuse your feelings so you become stronger and clearer.
  4. Consider your strengths…..see the light in others and see it reflected in you…..Use your experiences to make yourself stronger and more resilient. Be aware of self deception, we all make good and bad choices, but what is important is to be aware that they are yours…..
  5. Rest and relaxation. Are you getting enough rest or downtime? To do your best you need to have some time out. As written in the Four Agreements, “ You are alive , so take your life and enjoy it…” Set an intention to be in a state of joy and happiness, tune out anxiety and the daily worries to allow a space for enthusiasm and balance to be a part of every aspect of your life.

Focus

FocusWhich senses do we engage when we focus….. truly focus on something?

We can focus our eyes on something….I’m long sighted but have also developed a strong peripheral vision, which is useful when giving a public talk, wandering in the bush or just being aware of what’s going on around me. It’s kept me safe in dark car parks late at night.

We can focus our hearing… and as I become more aware that I’m losing some hearing in my left ear, it becomes important to place myself so that I do hear conversations. But listening isn’t just about what we hear, it’s also about “listening” to our inner voice or intuition.  When we listen to others it’s important to not only hear what is being said, but what is not. It’s about being present for the other person whilst putting our own inner chatter on hold as the conversation progresses.

We can focus on what we feel….. this could be a simple touch, a brush of a soft silk scarf or an emotion. Some emotions can catch us unawares, like the sudden gut wrenching sadness as we grieve the death of a loved one, a rush to the heart of love as you look down on the sleeping face of a young child. For some people, experiencing strong emotions are taking them into uncharted waters and when they let go and surrender to them, rather than being scared or uncertain, having a sense of wonder as they allow the energy to lead to personal transformation.

Transformation can be as quick or gradual as you allow it to be. It can be a pleasant journey into the future as we set down the burdens or baggage of the past. Forgiveness and gratitude are two companions that make that journey easier. Taking time to rest and reflect are also helpful in your quest to move forward. The letting go of what no longer serves you, perhaps participating in a “cutting the ties” visualization, remembering to breathe deeply and open yourself to new beginnings.

Focus on the breath…… What do you feel?

Close your eyes and breathe deeply again…. What do you see?

And once more…… eyes closed, breathe deeply…… focus……. What do you hear?

The Mind Body Connection

The years are catching up with me….. a couple of car accidents, more than a few motorbike spills and several falls down steep stairs have left their mark. The body requires some TLC to get moving at times anfeelingd finding a good practitioner since my chiropractor retired has taken some time. He intuitively knew what to do to get the body moving again!

I am convinced that a treatment needs to work on both mind and body to get lasting results. One cannot exist without the other.

Recently, I had an xray of my spine as I went to try out a new chiropractor. Seeing the damaged areas had a profound effect. Normally I’m not one to let the emotions go, but the combination of the evidence of past fractures and the adjustment created a space to re-visit the events around them and re-assess the emotions that lingered.

SoulThe most poignant image was seeing the clips that had been placed on the fallopian tubes. Done after 4 miscarriages, because I didn’t want to go through another heartbreak, although I already had 2 healthy children.  My eyes teared up and in a flash I had put that emotion on the backburner, just as I had done so at each miscarriage because I had young children, a busy teaching job and had to get on with living. It didn’t stay on the backburner for long.

On return to the office, I tried to compose myself. For distraction I checked my personal horoscope.  “Sun and Moon trine Natal Chiron” it read. “For this brief period of time, you will become more conscious of the energy for personal transformation and healing in your life. This will likely mean some form of deep seated pain for the purpose of working through old issues and ultimately healing these issues. During this brief period of time, you may be blessed to provide the impetus for healing to others. You may also feel healing energy come into your life from a meeting with another person during the course of this transit……”

Deep  breath……

It may be that the original injury (falling off motorbikes, down stairs or car accidents) contributed to a physical weakness in a particular area. But does having that weakness also weaken or affect the psyche? Think of the saying “water always flows to the lowest point”.

Louise Hay in her book Heal the Body, categorizes the cause of miscarriage as fear of the future. Inappropriate timing.

So what to make of that?  Her new thought pattern certainly gave food for thought. ” Divine right action is always taking place in my life. I love and approve of myself. All is well.”

Entering into a self hypnosis session, brought more emotions up. Recognize them, name them and let them go…… The past is the past and don’t hang onto them anymore was the message that came up.  Yes, sad  to never have met those children, but as a Past Life therapist I can recognize that these souls chose not to incarnate through me. Divine right action.  The love and approve of myself part is a little harder….

Revisiting the chiropractor a week and a bit later, he was surprised at how well my body had responded to just two adjustments. We chatted about the mind body connection, without going into specifics and he adjusted my lower back.

Returning to the office, I began a Chakra cleanse.  It’s going to be a work in progress. Taking the time to really work on strengthening the body, mind and spirit. Today I start on the Root Chakra (Muladhara) – had to chuckle at the description of when it malfunctions …

Obesity, sciatica, knee troubles, bone disorders, frequent illness, frequent fears, inabilty to focus, spaciness, inability to be still……. this could take some time to return to healthy function!!

I have books on my shelf that literally jump at me to be read at different times… Today “The Sevenfold Journey – Reclaiming Mind, Body & Spirit through the Chakras” fell off the shelf as I was getting another reference book out for a colleague to read.

So starting at the beginning I began to read….. The 7 Basic Rights…. Chakra One – the right to have. It’s about the right to be here. “This manifests in the right to have what we need in order to survive. When we are denied the basic necessities of survival:

  • food
  • clothing
  • shelter
  • warmth
  • medical care
  • healthy environment
  • physical touch

our rights to have are threatened. Consequently, we will be likely to question that right throughout our lives, in relationship to many things, from money and possession to love or time for ourselves.”

Maslow’s heirarchy…..

So here we go…. the messages from everywhere all point to some self healing work to be done, body and mind….. Life is such an interesting journey!

 

 

Learn from the Past

With the field I’m in, personal development is ongoing …. it’s not always about professional development…. something that I believe that some organizations lose track of. Even as a teacher, I believed it was necessary to explore new horizons… not necessarily education based.. in order to bring something holistic to our own sense of self.
Currently, I’m revisiting course notes from a few years back as the New Financial Year means making new business goals.  Part of this it to review where I have come from and build upon strengths and discover any areas that need work.
One of my challenges is that I have been susceptible to frequent colds …. self analysis came up with needing better winter protocols to avoid infection, which I duly wrote about in a newsletter. But of course, I missed the obvious…..stress reduces immunity and recently there has been a bit of stress in my life.
The last few days have been spent in using hypnotic methods to improve my immune system, regular HeartMath sessions, plenty of vitamins and a nice warm office.
Those of you that know me, know that I enjoy networking….. so when I encountered a new face in the tea room at the office complex where I work…. I got to chatting….. He told me that he used hypnosis/meditation for a style of martial art that he did……
Before I knew it, I discovered that he held in high esteem a man that I had previously worked with. My blood ran cold… my stomach flipped…. I thought I was going to be sick.
My experience with this same person was different… in that moment, I relived the pain, the angst, the sorrow, the anger….. this was the “why” I left teaching. Why I shredded almost a ream of abusive emails….Why I gave up……
I managed to get back to my room and smiled as I turned the page on the manual I was working through…
Choice…..
I chose to quit that job because I no longer wished to be treated like I was.
I chose to quit because I felt unsupported.
As a result of choosing to leave, I retrained as a Hypnotherapist and found another passion to pursue.
 I chose to be brave and start my own business.
I chose to forgo an easy salary for other benefits, like meeting some amazing people who choose to make changes in their lives!  
 I know that I was good at teaching. I know too that I am good at what I do today for my clients….
What a gift that moment in the tea- room was!
Two perceptions of one person – polar opposites!
The eddy of feelings changed in an instant….. why was I hanging on to that pain?
It was a choice … and I have now chosen to no longer need it…….I have survived a heart attack and subsequent surgery and can choose now to be empowered, to have a full life.
I choose to feel gratitude at being here …right now! 

A little soul work

A recent Louise Hay Facebook post suggested that one should take time to ask and explore these simple questions. Having a little time on my hands, as I recovered from the effects of a vaccine reaction, I decided to do this life audit.

What shall I now release from my life?
Fever creates some clarity and what I am now ready to release unhelpful behaviours, such as dwelling on the past – as the saying goes “The past is a country & I don’t live there anymore”. With the suffocating cough, I consulted Louise Hay’s  You Can Heal Your Life and found that the probable cause of coughing is

  • A desire to bark at the world. “See me! Listen to me!

…. the new thought pattern or affirmation leaps from the page to shout at me……I AM NOTICED AND APPRECIATED IN THE MOST POSITIVE WAYS. I AM LOVED
What or who no longer works for me?
Still in the tribal chakra realms….. What no longer works for me is denying my spiritual, political and core beliefs. 
I am ready to accept that there is a higher power and a realm of helpers ..be they guides or angels ….. and with the recent federal election was unable to vote with a clear conscience for either major political party and can now announce I am more aligned with the philosophy of the Greens. 

The Who is a little more tricky, but I am ready to let go of many of the people in my life who, although many of whom have been around for 30 plus years, do not exhibit the ability to demonstrate loving or compassionate support when most needed. This includes many members of the family that I married into and was further validated by their complete lack of warmth in welcoming both my son and daughter’s partners into the fold.

What am I holding on to that holds me back?
Old habits die hard…. once a pattern has been established, it is easy to replicate. It is easier to just go with the flow, rather than rock the boat. When you become accustomed to dysfunction, after a while you adapt and it becomes the norm….. Late last week, I did the “right thing” and went to a function even though I was still unwell, that I really didn’t want to go to. Even as I went, my inner voice was chattering away in my ear….”Hypocrite”…..
Another clue is the probable cause from Heal Your Life….

  • Respiratory Ailments …. Fear of taking in life fully. 

So here I am, living a twilight life because I am holding on to what is comfortable, which in reality is holding me back…
The affirmation or new thought pattern is “I am safe. I love my life”. 

Looking back at what I just wrote, the realization  dawns that what is holding me back is procrastination. Finding external excuses to justify the inertia of not making the changes. It really is up to me to create the life I love.

What thoughts or beliefs belong to the old me?
Growing up in my own dysfunctional family, there was a strong competitive streak for academic achievement between my brother and myself. Homework time was difficult as he seemed to grasp the Maths so easily and could add long lists of numbers like my father, in his head. 

It was easy to believe that I was “not good enough” at Maths, choir, sport and the list goes on. Yet I surprised everyone by getting 100% for a geometry test not long after and was most indignant when it was suggested that I had somehow cheated. I understood the shapes, the sacred geometry and could “see” how it worked, whereas the numbers alone or in algebraic formulas made no sense at all. 
Having people around me that don’t believe in me is no longer an option and last week a family member questioned me about the diagnosis of a vaccine reaction. That may not have fitted her belief system, as she has total faith in vaccinations. I need to trust in my gut reactions and create clear boundaries in order to believe in me!!

How am I being unloving to myself?
How cleverly I have manifested excess weight and recent illnesses!! 
By being unwell, the cycle of lack of energy and being unfit are ways in which I can be unkind to this physical body. 

The last couple of weeks has seen me juicing and the vitality of the fresh fruits and vegetables are helping my body and soul mend. By denying my soul connection to living a more spiritual life, by living out of integrity, I have been harsh and unloving to myself.

Am I ready to let go?
A resounding yes!!! The last few weeks have been like a hibernation… a retreat into a cocoon…. and with spring well and truly in the air, it is time to emerge and let go of the past. Yes, some of the experiences may have defined my perception of the the world, but even as my body is still weak and I am repairing, the spirit feels so much stronger and ready to soar.

What do I believe that really works for me?

It has taken a while, but I am starting to trust in myself, trusting my own judgement. So trusting in the universe a little more often seems like a pretty good idea too! 
Looking back, there have been many instances of how things have worked out just OK for me whilst all around is chaos. 
This is now the time to trust that the angels, my guides will lead me towards a future that is fulfilling and full of love, laughter and abundance.

What is going on in my life that is terrific and wonderful?
A sense of anticipation with life changes that are happening in so many subtle and wonderful ways. 
A new grandchild and observing a new family unit being created with such love, yet seeing them not accepting the dysfunctional behaviours exhibited by cousins that were once close. 
A few close and special friends who also have an interest in the spiritual and esoteric check in on me from time to time. New friends with similar ethics have offered to help and whilst this is a little strange, I can learn to be open to their warm and loving ways.

Where am I being very loving to myself?

I am allowing myself time off. Time to sit. To think. To just be. I am going within and having a big spring clean of memories, perceptions and allowing myself time to grieve. Not just for the loss of my father, but the loss of my mother who died in 1999. I went to Perth for the funeral, came back to Melbourne and life just went on and I was surrounded by people who just didn’t seem to care, or who didn’t like any expression of emotion.

Where am I most content?
I have a soul urge to go back to the bush. To have a place where I can just be. 
Not the desert, where I am equally comfortable, but a place that has some clear plains, maybe a small rise with some granite boulders and some old, river gums. 
Where I can see the sunlight glinting on the half moon, crescent shaped leaves and the textures & colours of the bark. Where I can go outside at night and see the stars.     
Let me acknowledge myself for all the growth and change.
 

What do I want to bring to my life?
Integrity, warmth and understanding and abundance.

What do I want to create?

A life with no further regrets. A life full of laughter, full of genuine friends. A life that contributes in some small way to helping others become who they truly deserve to be.

How do I want the next year to be?
Busy, yet not frantic. With time to enjoy my children’s achievements and accomplishments. A busy, but rewarding Hypnotherapy practice, seeing clients who are looking to heal their past and to realize their soul potential. Time to find that bush block and build a healing sanctuary and labyrinth to walk within.

Who do I want to bring into my world?
Friends and colleagues who are walking on the same spiritual discovery path. Soulmates, soul friends and those who have something to teach and share.

How do I want to look?
I want to look healthy and at peace.  Radiating health from within to without.

What image do I want to project?
Having taken off the masks that I wore for so long,  there is no longer a need to project an image…  that I am now finally comfortable in my own skin, what you see is what you get. I have allowed the colours and tips to grow out of my hair and am comfortable with the grey and white streaks that have appeared. I have earned these stripes!

How healthy do I want to be?
I am ready now to take better care of my health by reducing weight, leaving unhelpful habits  in the past. I want to be healthy and fit so as to build my dream and not be exhausted.

How prosperous do I want to feel?
Abundance comes in many ways and financial abundance is high on the list. The last few years have seen some struggles with financial abundance and this has allowed a greater appreciation  of the money flow when it happens.

How much love am I willing to experience?
Unlimited, unconditional love!! How big is the universe?

What kind of world do I want to live in?
 The ideal world would be a place where there is a sense of peace, a mindfulness and purpose to daily life. Where there is acceptance for difference, equality in relationships and trust that the Universe has enough for all.

Where do I want my spirituality to go?

To follow my soul urge, to create a sacred space that allows myself and others to get in touch with the core beliefs. To accept that others have their religious beliefs and not impinge upon them, yet maintaining my own boundaries as to my beliefs.

Affirm:

I know that where I am is the totality of possibilities . . . not just a few possibilities, but the totality of all creation.

I am not limited by statistics, medical opinions, time, or authorities.

I am one with the infinite wisdom and capabilities of the Universe itself.

All good is available to me, right here and right now.

All I have to do is to use the power of my thoughts to create that which I desire. I know that. Now let me live it!