Gratitude

A Balanced Life, gratitude,

At the time of writing this, I’m up to Day 21 of a 30 day challenge to show gratitude for a different thing each day.

I found the original idea on LinkedIn and started by entering the questions in my work diary at the top of each page. All well and good, but I don’t take the diary with me to the retreat, so I realized that I would miss a few days here and there.

The solution to this was to post these daily questions and answer them on my Facebook business page. It’s interesting reading what others are grateful for as well.

So yesterday’s day of gratitude (Day 20) question was “Who in your life are you grateful for?” I could think of many and my initial response was my immediate family. Then later in the evening a cousin contacted me to say her father, my mother’s twin, had passed away that morning, just a day short of what would have been their 91st birthday. Mum had always joked and said she was going to live to a 100 like her Granny, but she left this realm just over 17 years ago. Back to gratitude….. I am grateful to my Uncle (and Aunt) for the many holidays I had with them during the six years we spent in the UK. Memories of playing with my cousins and getting up to all sorts of mischief.

Today’s question is “What song are you most grateful for?”

These seem like simple questions, but there are so many responses that can be made, which is why I’m planning on repeating the 30 Day Challenge again, but with the questions in a different order and created a booklet to print out and write in.

What song am I grateful for? Porcelain by Moby. Don’t know why, but it soothes my soul.

Another New Year

A Balanced Life, Abundance, gratitude, ,

Each new year seems to come around a lot quicker these days! Or perhaps time is really speeding up. Many will have started the New Year with resolutions, new dreams and goals and have reviewed the previous year. Some will have celebrated the various religious holidays. Others may have withdrawn from celebrations as they leave an empty chair at the table for a loved one.

From what I have garnered in conversations with friends, colleagues and clients, is that most people seem to be confident that 2018 will be a good year and better than last year. Personally, I had a reasonably good year last year and feel optimistic about this new year. Late last year I retrained in NLP (with a different trainer), finding that to be very satisfying and as a result I am combining all the therapies I use into a Flexi Package for clients.

LabyrinthAnother project is the 30 days of Gratitude, which I intend to redo each time I finish a 30 day cycle. As I write this I’m up to Day 9 and today I am asked “What place am I most grateful for?”

No surprises here, I am most grateful for the retreat which I was able to buy with a modest inheritance from my parents and has allowed me to indulge in my labyrinth building passion.

If you would like to follow this cycle then have a look in on my page Balance4Life Programs on Facebook. I’m inclined to post the next cycle here and the challenge will be to find some different things to be grateful for!

 

Truth, Love and Transformation

Chakras, intention, ,

Everyone has a different perception regarding events and likewise what is the truth for one person is not for another.

Having respect for the needs and values or principles of others is what contributes to our character.

Too often we place conditions on ourselves and others, but when we begin to take time to still a busy mind, the space that the stillness creates will allow you to achieve more balance in your life.

You may get a sense of this space and take some time to become aware of the many possibilities that the Universe may be offering you.

As you become more familiar with meditation, the chakras will unblock and open. You may start to feel that love is all around you and whilst this may feel unfamiliar at first, once you acknowledge it and let it go, you will start to experience some amazing transformations.

Connection

A Balanced Life, ,

On our soul journey at times it can feel like there is a lack of connection with others during times of change.

There is risk in change, but being flexible and open to change will create shifts in your awareness.

Tuning in to the Universe is much like tuning a new TV or a radio station  – the stations are already there, we just have to find the right frequency or bandwidth.

Whilst in this process of attunement or change it helps to have a sense of adventure and face whatever issues arise.  Be kind to yourself and others during this process as it has been said that kindness is the road to happiness, health and harmony.

Staying Upright

balance, , ,

Staying upright or why I bought my motorbike………This was a question posed on a forum of a club that I belong to and I got to reminiscing on why I bought my current motorbike…..not that I have changed bikes in a long time!!!

Many moons ago and last century, I had the experience of riding pillion on a friend’s brand new BMW. My parents disapproved of the idea of me riding on a motorcycle (never mind that both grandmothers did during WW2) and a plan was hatched. I bought a leather jacket, boots, gloves and a helmet and stored them at my friend’s house. Such is the behaviour of a headstrong teenager!

One sunny Sunday afternoon a group of us headed out to spend some time exploring the roads around York. It was my first trip as a pillion passenger and I loved the freedom of being on the machine, albeit as a passenger.

All was good until we hit a patch of loose gravel on the approach to one of the waterfalls and suddenly my friend had disappeared from in front of me. Time seemed to freeze frame and I slid from the pillion seat onto the tank, just in time to allow my leg to cushion the bike from a roadside culvert. Nothing seemed to be broken – either the bike or me – so it seemed to be best to get back on and have a look at the waterfall down the road.

It wasn’t until later that evening that the knee swelled up and started to turn all manner of colours. My mother asked me why I was limping and I fibbed and said that I had slipped on the rocks at the waterfall.

Shortly afterwards I signed up for lessons to learn how to ride a motorcycle. The next few Saturday mornings were spent  on the concrete pads down near the Perth Lockup. This was on the riverside before the road system was remodelled. Back in those days you had to be accompanied by a licensed instructor who rode alongside you. This was followed by some advanced training at the Safety council where an ex Police instructor taught me to ride over seesaws and through slaloms. All good fun and done on a borrowed 350cc Honda.

My instructor owned a motorcycle shop and had an immaculately restored BSA C11 for sale, but it was just a little more than what I had saved up. The following week a 450cc Honda came into the shop and was within my price range and I could afford it! That was it…. my first set of 2 wheels! I hopped on and twisted the throttle…. I hadn’t accounted for the extra 100cc that I was familiar with and to the amusement of the guys at the shop; I did a wheel stand down the street, fortunately missing all of the parked cars on either side of the street and staying upright!

The bike was mine! My friend with the BMW came over to check it out and laughed at hearing about the wheel stand. He offered for me to take his bike for a ride and to learn how to take it easy on the throttle. I hadn’t gone far when the sound of a siren startled me and glancing in the mirrors could see the red and blue flashing lights….. oh no! I had been travelling so carefully, keeping an eye on the speed. I got off the bike and the policeman approached me. My stomach somersaulted… I hadn’t attached the “P” plates and thought I was in big trouble. “How long have you had the bike?” he asked. “Would you like to join the BMW Club?”

Whew! I wasn’t in trouble; he had pulled me over out of curiosity and invited me to the next meeting. Mr Plod, as he was known, warmly welcomed me when I did turn up to the next meeting and introduced me to an interesting bunch of people with various nicknames such as “Bear”, “Goldie” and the like. This was the start of some weekend rides where they were very tolerant of my novice status. Around the same time, my friend with the BMW got involved with a “patch” group and I was invited to accompany them on a ride to Geraldton, where the local constabulary turned everyone back immediately on arrival.

My friend eventually sold his BMW and bought a Ducati which was somewhat difficult to ride as the clutch lever was exceptionally heavy to operate. We planned a trip East across the Nullarbor Plain with him on his Ducati and me on my trusty 450 Honda and upward to Toowoomba. We got no further than Northam when the 860 Ducati “blew up”. Trailered back to Perth, we lay low as we had farewelled friends and family.

Totally inadequately prepared by today’s standards, we had no tent or cooking utensils.  Just a basic sleeping bag each and we carried an absolute minimum of clothing in our army surplus kit bags. At night we slept on sheepskins that doubled as seat softeners during the day. There was still over 200km of unsealed road to navigate and the closer we got to it, the more stories we heard of the horrific bulldust holes and corrugations. We decided to camp at the start of the dirt and attempt it in the morning; not thinking that the dirt would slow us down or that we were traveling east and would lose valuable daylight to travel by. Surprisingly, I stayed upright for that whole section and we pulled into Nullarbor Station after dark. I was wondering why I was getting strange looks so  I made my way to the Ladies room and had to laugh at my reflection. I had been wearing an open face helmet with sunglasses and the road dust was caked thick on my face except where the glasses had been and lines of mud striping down my face where my eyes had watered from the dust. No smart phones back then, but a photo would have been great to look back on! As it was late in the evening, most of the food in the roadhouse had gone except for a very rubbery toasted ham and cheese sandwich which was micro waved. Hunger won over visual attraction.

Eventually the Nullarbor trip was over and arriving in Port Pirie, I decided that a tent was needed.  I found one in a disposal store and managed to fit it onto the bike with little trouble. Traveling across South Australia and up through the Hay Plains and the inland route to Toowoomba we clocked up the miles whilst not communicating to each other until we reached the inland Queensland town and parted company.

Months later, after my friend stated that he missed me so (in retrospect a major mistake) I packed up the bike again and traveled – this time solo – to Melbourne.  Finding a house and a job was a priority and that happened quite quickly.  I stayed for about 6 months and returned again on my own to Brisbane after my friend was discharged from his Air Force Officer training (this was beginning to be a pattern).  Relationships 101 were not in vogue then and I would certainly not recommend anyone modelling this behaviour…..

A few months later…….I found out that I had been accepted into teacher training college in Perth, which had been planned to coincide with my friend’s posting and training at Pearce Air Force base.. Rather than give up the opportunity for further education, I packed up, rode to Sydney and put the bike on the train and with a student concession card, got a berth for me and my bike on the Indian Pacific train from Sydney to Perth.

The highlight of the next 6 months or so was, after having stayed friends with the other officer cadets and reconnecting,  was riding to the graduation ball at Pearce in a ball gown with flying boots and jeans underneath and high heels packed in my backpack and then riding home safely again after the event ended!

Not long afterwards, my Ducati friend phoned to say he was missing me (again… another misjudgement… or was it part of my lessons to learn?) and “would I make the trip back to Brisbane?”  Which I did. He welcomed me with a pretty sapphire & diamond ring…. another story for another time……

Travel still beckoned, so I sold the 450 Honda and we headed across the Tasman, landing in Auckland where I found a cute red 350 Honda which we rode down the east coast to Wellington and then after a stint packing apples in Nelson to replenish the wallet…… down the west coast and back up to Christchurch. I sold the bike and came back to Brisbane with just a few dollars left!

Word came that I was required to attend a civil court case in Perth, so we loaded the Ducati (which had been in storage) and set off. We didn’t quite do the land speed record, but we did get to Perth in 3 and half days from Brisbane, riding some nights behind semi trailers with the sleeping bags wrapped around us with “ocky straps” to hold them on. We ran out of money as we filled up in Norseman and a quick reverse charge phone call to my parents was made to wire money to Coolgardie Post Office, which they very kindly did and that funded the petrol money to get to Perth in time for the court appearance.

The court case didn’t go ahead with a last minute out of court settlement for a reasonable amount. I decided to buy another bike after the bank wasn’t keen on lending an extra $2000 to a 20 year old female to buy a terrace house in Fremantle. No point in having regrets over that. I would have been stuck in the one place and not had the adventures that were to come.

I reconnected with the BMW WA Club and it wasn’t long before I found an R100RS advertised in the Sunday papers. I was ready to buy it, but my friends in the club knew its history and advised me to look around a bit further. Fortunately, my old instructor had given me a job in his bike shop and the use of a nifty little 400/4 Honda, so I was able to get around on my own again.

Eventually another bike – a R60/5 was advertised and with friends Goldie and Chris in tow, we checked it out. A guy had brought it over from South Africa, intending to ride around Australia, but family issues and lack of finances put a stop to that and it was up for sale. Getting the seal of approval, I bought it and finally had my own distinctive BMW as it had what was called an American or “toaster” tank and it was a perfect birthday present to me from me, in what was turning out to be my “Annus Horribilus”.

I am forever grateful to these guys in the WA BMW Club who taught me how to buy the right tools and how to service my bike. Tappets, timing, oil changes and general maintenance. Saved me a fortune….

Then when all seemed to be on track, a  friend of the Ducati rider turned up from Brisbane, which was awkward as it was clear it was more than just a friendship. It was now time to bow out as gracefully as possible and leave the boys together.

A group in the BMW Club was heading East in September and I asked if it was OK to tag along so that I would have company traveling across the Nullarbor on my way back to catch up with friends in Melbourne. Unfortunately I had to have some surgery a week before their departure date.  I wasn’t sure if I would be able to ride with the group, but I decided that I would make myself better.  It was an opportunity to make some positive changes in my life.

What a trip! With a well loved teddy bear in the bottom of my kitbag, some good clothes for job interviews, a change of daily clothes and a one person tent and some cooking gear were put on the bike. I also packed  my archery bow and competition arrows along one side of the BMW.

Reaching Quorn in  the Flinders Ranges I was able to have my first freshwater shower in a while. Guess what happened next? Going into the rally site along  a dirt road, I went into a spectacular tank slapper and fell off. Covered in dust.  A few of the group looked out for me and then I was ready for my next adventure…

….on to Melbourne…..

Coaching vs Counselling

labyrinth, ,

What suits you?

Both have advantages and disadvantages, but having received sessions in both, I feel that the coaching model is more effective.

With coaching you don’t need to stay stuck in our stories, in fact the coach often doesn’t even need to hear your story, just where and how you want to move forward. Combined with some NLP (neuro linguistic programming) techniques and a little Hypnotherapy, personally I have found that amazing changes can be made with a minimum of fuss (and no snotty tissues…… bonus!)

Athletes have been using coaches for decades to improve their performance and there is a growing number of people using coaching for various other pursuits. Many executives and business owners have a business coach, singers have a voice coach and there are other niches such as health coaching and of course, Emotional Intelligence coaching.

However, for certain people, counselling interventions such as CBT are really valuable in changing thoughts and behaviours over a longer period of time. Most importantly, the rapport you have with your coach or counsellor is the defining factor in the success of your session.

Change

A Balanced Life, Choice, flow, self examination, , ,

You can choose to change or circumstances can cause change to happen in an instant, but there is one thing that is constant…..change is inevitable.

Our body changes constantly although it would seem that the thinking that our whole body is renewed every 7-10 years is not correct. Some cells, the neurons in the cerebral cortex are never renewed and others will renew at different rates.

When it comes to our outlook, a shift in perception or change of physical circumstances can create ripples of change that encourage us to grow. Removing yourself from the hustle and bustle of daily life for a while and taking a short meditation break gives you time to be as one with yourself and review if there are any necessary changes that need to be made.

These don’t have to be done immediately – make a list and have patience with yourself as you implement these changes. Acknowledging the changes you have consciously made will allow you to close the door on the past and open new doors and let you travel forward to new adventures. There may be some emotional attachment to the past or negativity that arises, so take a deep breath in and step back for a moment and review the issue, creating some welcome space in the meantime.

Ask yourself:  “What are the triggers  and what am I going to do about it?”

“How can I learn and grow from that experience or resolve any inner conflicts in a peaceful, loving way?”

Cooperate with yourself  in this process and create more balance in your life.

Three Keys to building your Emotional Intelligence

Coaching, Life balance,

There is an art to being emotionally intelligent.

How so you might say?

Whilst there have been stacks of books and plenty of research on the subject, when it comes to improving your Emotional Intelligence you have to get in touch with your inner ARTist as I outlined in a recent presentation.

Firstly you have to Assess your emotions. Positive or negative, feel the emotions and name them and then let them go.

The second key is to Recognise that all emotions are feedback in some way.

  • Can you recognise patterns as you experience a particular emotion?
  • Is there a trigger that creates your response?

When you start to recognise these patterns, then you will have created a neural pathway that causes you to respond that way. Once you become aware of your own patterns of action or reaction, then you will also start to notice how other people react to triggers.

The third key is Transformation. This will begin to happen as you acknowledge your emotions as useful tools for feedback. Part of this transformative process is reflecting whether you are doing one of several things.

  • Are you denying the emotion or your feelings?
  • Are you over reacting or are you repressing the emotion?

Take a step back….. pause and do some deep breathing and allow yourself some space. If you feel you need some help in building your Emotional Intelligence muscle, then call or use the contact form to schedule some coaching sessions.

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5 Steps to value your time

Coaching, Purpose, , , ,

“Until you value yourself, you won’t value your time.”

M Scott Peck

  1. Track your time – create a spreadsheet in half hour blocks for each day of the week. Record when you are sleeping and all your other activities. Initially this may seem like you are “time wasting” but you will be surprised at what actually does take up your time. Include things such as time taken to travel to various places, shopping, showering, eating, etc.
  2. Prioritise – make a list of what is important. Sleep should be up there as a significant block of time as is time to spend with your nearest and dearest ones. Make sure you identify the difference between your regular “to do list” and projects you are undertaking. Set some deadlines for the completion of the tasks. You might also want to identify which activities are “fun” to do and those that are not. Reward yourself by doing the less fun ones first and the enjoyable ones later.
  3. Schedule or timetable everything else. Be flexible – you may want to create several schedules so that you get some variety each week. If you need to be on social media for your business, or answer emails then set aside some time to do that. There are numerous scheduling tools that can be used to automatically post to various platforms, but do make some of your posts spontaneous! For instance, I have a set time once a week to write blog posts (like this one). In that time I will write on a number of topics and save to a document to use later when I have scheduled in clients or have set time aside to prepare for upcoming workshops.
  4. Stop procrastinating – be honest with yourself. What excuses or reasons are you coming up with to justify your inaction? Do you value yours and other people’s time? Have you allowed enough time to get to your appointments?
  5. Focus – or learn the art of mindfulness. Multi tasking is so last century….. when your attention is divided, your energy is scattered. If you are following your schedule then you will complete tasks in what seems like no time at all. If your attention span is short, then schedule the tasks into small but incremental steps… the foundation of successful goal setting!

Dream Stealers

Coaching, dreaming, Insights, ,

“All our dreams can come true,

if we have the courage to pursue them.”

Walt Disney

There are 3 things that will take up your time and steal from your dreams. One is unavoidable and the other two will creep in and take up time that you could be taking action to move from a dream to reality.

They are:

  • Sleep
  • TV
  • Procrastination

It’s worthwhile to have an honest audit about the time you spend on each of these.

Sleep is necessary for our well being and studies show that poor sleep habits or interrupted sleep has a significant impact on our effectiveness. Too little sleep can be as unhelpful as too much.

TV or other electronic diversions such as social media can consume valuable time and time is the most valuable resource we can access. I grew up with a side plate that my grandmother gave me that had the words “Time and tide wait for no man”. It meant little to me as a child, but as the years have flown by, the meaning has become more relevant. Whilst we are unable to make more time regardless of our means and we can never get time back, we can manipulate it through self hypnosis. Reading other people’s posts on social media can be seen as wasting this valuable resource, so it makes sense to schedule limited time to access the various platforms or watching TV alongside scheduling time to work on your dream.

Procrastination or the art of shuffling papers or doing “busy stuff” is perhaps the most insidious time/dream stealer.

Ask yourself the following questions:

How much actual work am I doing to achieve my dream?

What changes do you need to make to create goals to achieve your dreams?

What steps do you need to take?

How will life be different for you after making these changes?

What will this allow you to do?

Thankyou for taking some of your valuable time to read this reflection!