Is your ladder up against the wall you want it to be? How can you be sure that what is at the top of that ladder is what you expected it to be? Scary thought! Work for 20-30 years, putting aside some of your most secret dreams to climb that ladder and expect to reach out and pick success at the very top, to find that it was an illusion or that whilst the goal remained the same, you had changed on the journey up.
Is your ladder balanced in a way that you won’t topple down? Let’s look at your 6 core needs that will help you keep your ladder balanced and they are conveniently paired to support that balance.
- Certainty. Certainty allows you to be in control of your destiny. It gives you comfort, security, safety and is all things familiar. You create empowering routines and are comfortable with yourself. Sounds great if that’s what you really want. Let’s look at the negative side for a moment, procrastination and self sabotage.
- Uncertainty. This is about living life on the wild side, out of your comfort zone. A bit of variety, the spice of life, adventure and unfamiliarity. Whoo hoo!! A rollercoaster ride…..!!
- Significance. Who you are and how you help others is what defines your significance. The “know it all”, the person who puts others down or the righteous zealot is the negative side to this character trait. Are you a giver or a getter?
- Love and Connection. On a balance of probabilities, most people are afraid of love, but are OK with connection. Most of our core needs are met by connection and not love, which means we can go into a relationship & get out if things get too rugged. Whereas if we love, we embrace vulnerability, especially when we totally give of ourselves. We are not being second best here, we let go of control.
- Contribution. The first core need of the spirit. Our goal is to make sure our contribution and growth are central to our core, as well as being sustainable, obtainable and empowering. We need to have certainty that we are on the path toward all that we can become.
- Growth. This is spiritual and emotional growth. To attain this, we need to be clear about our purpose and direction, yet keep a sense of perspective about where we have come from. When we can show appreciation first for ourselves and then to others we can say we have sustainable growth. Our primary purpose is to love, then to give in order to grow and if we cannot do that there is a void. The name of that void is FEAR.