Are you a Giver or Taker? A giver will give of their time, often being the pillar of support for family and friends. Givers are the myriad of volunteers who contribute to charities, faith based organizations and communities. Their reward is not monetary and can’t be measured accurately as a marker of economic growth or downturn, but if they weren’t there their contribution would be sorely missed. You may have met the Giver who shares knowledge without thought of recompense as their reward is contributing to the growth of the recipient. It is also helpful to reflect on what a Giver gains by giving. There may not be an explicit reason for their giving and often the Giver is rewarded by emotional satisfaction. Gandhi said “The best way to lose yourself is by service to others.”
Open hearted and trusting, Givers are often naive when faced with the neediness of a Taker and they would benefit from realizing that they too, need boundaries. A Taker will often deride a Giver’s altruism, calling them a “soft touch” or weak, not realizing that by giving generously of time, information, energy or labour that the Giver has strength in their service.
Takers on the other hand, are those who are likely to be close hearted. They may present as the person who is driven to succeed at all costs, little realizing that the ultimate cost is to them. It is likely that you know a Taker or two. The person who only calls when they want something or perhaps it’s that person who, once they have the ideas or information they need from you, packages it up and delivers it as their own.
Other takers are what Sonia Choquette calls “Energy Vampires” and they are very familiar to therapists working in the holistic field. An Energy Vampire is attracted to the energy and open heart of the Giver, and unless there are adequate boundaries in place, the Giver will suffer “burn out”. Surprisingly, the Taker is often unaware of their unconscious greed, for that is what it is. In order to fulfill a need buried deep in the subconscious, the Taker is constantly looking for fulfillment by taking time, information, energy or labour that they feel will help them in some way.
Maintaining an equilibrium or balance between giving and taking and not being attached to the outcome is ideal. The concept of “Paying it Forward” is well known and you may have received from one source, but you are not obligated to return the favour.
I needed to get a document that I thought I had put in a “safe place” and got some unexpected lessons. In that “safe place” were numerous CD’s and DVD’s – some labelled and many unlabelled. After the document was found, I decided that it would be a good time to sort through and discard what was no longer needed. However, what I discovered were backup files from school of lessons and worksheets that I developed more than 10 years ago. Consequently some of those files were also minutes of departmental meetings. Minutes that when read, brought up stressful memories that I believed that I had dealt with. Not so…
Perfect timing…..and most importantly, now is the time to really work on removing the emotional responses to those situations once and for all. Meanwhile, faces, conversations and emotional responses drifted across my conscious mind. There was a certain amount of irritation that these backup CD’s also backed up in my memory. Yet some of the files are worth keeping. Some contain some really good lessons that I can share on a teaching website where I have sold other classroom resources over the past few years.
I set aside some time and put on some hypnotic background music. Taking one event at a time, I imagine it as a movie that I’m watching and I start to send Reiki to it using a particular symbol. I’m looking for the positive lessons that I got from that event and feel myself surrounded by the Reiki energy as I multiply the symbol all around me. I meditate for some time with the intent as I clear my mind the feelings about that and similar events are cleared. As I go into a pleasant empty space, it feels like I am becoming lighter and I just know that I no longer want or need to experience the negative energies around that or other similar situations.
Emerging from the meditation, my eyes rest on the pile of CD’s that I have just gone through. They have no “pull”, no energy. I continue with the Reiki session and set the intent for any other experiences similar to this to be surrounded by this Reiki symbol and let the healing energy continue.
Seminar over and the program begins. A “Last Supper” of a favourite comfort food. Chicken rice with corn and mixed mushrooms and a heavy handed splash of extra hot chilli. ….. and some red wine to finish off with. All foods (except the chicken) off the menu until I have completed the program and am at a comfortable goal weight.
Emotionally, I am exhausted as part of the program is to look at emotional triggers and to let them go. Meditating and journaling since Saturday evening, I have been surprised at what has popped up. Events long forgotten and the associated beliefs and emotions that surround them. Next to burn that list….. I will add to it in the coming week, and take it into the centre of the labyrinth at the retreat when I next go there to burn it in that safe, calm space at the centre of the labyrinth in that safe and calm space, thereby releasing any attachments to the events to the universe with gratitude and emerging no longer carrying the burdens of the past.
A new mantra…. “The past is the past. Let it go and focus on NOW.”
What is the past anyway? A memory. An imagination based on our perception. My perception of an event as a child would be different to another’s memory of the same event and would also depend on age related cognitive skills and interpretation.
Today I have set aside some time to do a Chakra Cleanse, working through the Chakras from Base to Crown using meditation with some shamanic music. Interestingly I coughed all through the Throat Chakra meditation …. more work to do!
Leading up to the end of 2018 been quite a journey. A conversation over New Year precipitated a look back and it had me reflecting on life as it has happened to Meg. I hadn’t really contemplated that my life was so very different or adventurous or that I was particularly brave, but in comparison to someone who has lived an ordered and nurtured life – maybe so and maybe it is time to write down the experiences. Let’s start with how I got to here.
The last couple of years have been difficult health wise with several bouts of pneumonia and the resulting tiredness and the diagnosis of an immune condition has been challenging. November was filled with various appointments and I was heading off to the next one with a little spare time, so I decided to take a more scenic route. I got stuck in traffic and as serendipity would have it, right outside a Salt Room. I mentioned this to my acupuncturist and he suggested that it would be beneficial and in combination with long overdue pharmaceutical intervention, there has been a noticeable improvement.
As part of my ongoing personal program to regain health, I have been using Hypnotherapy audios for improving my immunity and have already seen a change in some of my blood tests. Next week I embark upon a program delivered by another Hypnotherapist to reduce the weight that I have accumulated over these last couple of years.
I hope you will join me on my journey as I record my progress.