Belonging to the tribe

Some people have no problem eliminating their “blood” family from their lives, but at what cost long term? 
 Often family members will perceive a slight or may not be privy to the whole story and so an inter-generational rift begins. 
 It may have started over a family event, such as a wedding where a child of separated parents expects more financial support than one parent can offer, or a forgotten present for  a grandchild or even neglecting to invite partners of cousins to milestone celebrations. 
The list could go on and as a therapist I have heard many stories about families. Most of the time it comes back to the perception of the event and no two people will be able to recollect an event the same way.
As the story grows stronger through the telling and re-telling over the years, resentment, anger and other negative emotions form many layers like a brittle veneer over the original event. 
Layer upon layer, passed down like a family heirloom, the toxic effects sending tendrils into all sorts of places – other relationships…….until the negativity spreads to cousins, friends of family and causes discomfort whenever the participants meet.
Looking back, is it possible to take the “righteous goggles” off or even take some time to think about what might have been going on in that other person’s life? 
As a hypnotherapist, I know that it is possible and in a session many years down the track, there may be a time when the client is able to have a conversation that resolves how they feel about the original issue. 
Sure, the other person may not be there, they may be long gone or dust,  but the energy changes and on a different level there is some resolution. 
For many people the ones you call your own may not all be “blood”, but it’s your choices that ensure, for the most time, they are loyal, honest, loving people. Surrounding yourself with like minded people is healthy, but it is also healthy to understand that for true growth, you are able to accept opinions other than your own, accept well meant criticism, accept observations and be able to forgive when someone is a little more opinionated than you prefer.
There is a popular saying  “you can’t choose your family but you can choose your friends”. Again, from a Hypnotherapist’s viewpoint. and one trained in Past Life Regression – this is not so. If you are familiar with the philosophy, the child’s soul will have chosen to incarnate into this family to learn lessons from the dynamics of this current lifetime in order to mature on a soul level. 
There is always a choice, conscious or subconscious, as to who gets to stay as your family.