Category Archives: crossroads

Which path will you take?

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You may be familiar with the metaphor of the fork in the road or crossroads, where a decision has to be made.

For most people the decision is easy and they choose the path most familiar and they will continue to get the same results as they are already getting. This familiarity provides certainty and in their minds is the safest option. As they travel, they tick off the familiar landmarks along the path and know when they will arrive at their destination and what to expect when they get there.

Yet for those who choose that other, sometimes risky path are open to adventure and a journey of a lifetime. Extraordinary results lie like gems scattered at the edges of this new path. It is not worn by the heavy footsteps of those who choose the other path.

Those who traverse this path need a different mindset and will need to rely on other senses to navigate it. This path will test you to know deep inside what you are capable of and to explore what you stand for and what qualities within you that you want to cultivate and develop.

Occasionally you may want to glance back at where you came from and that will show you how far you have travelled. As L P Hartley wrote in The Go-Between… “The past is a foreign country, they do things differently there”.

Travelling along the other path will necessitate change within and as such you will be a different person, richer for the experiences as you continue this journey. Those who choose the familiar path may no longer understand you.  Another saying you may be familiar with is “Success is a journey, not the destination”, but it’s often the change of scenery and companions that provides the impetus to transformation.  A map is handy, as is some idea of where you want to go and it is important to have a current map or reliable GPS to refer to if needed… Once you have decided on the destination you can let go of that and focus on the means to enrich the journey to get there.

Believe

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We all have an innate desire to protect what we already have and our ego will go to great lengths to make sure that what drives us will make us look good and get it right.  One of our key drivers is to feel a sense of certainty in our lives and to feel significant.

For some, self doubt will creep in and for a few this may lead to feelings of hopelessness or helplessness fueled by a lack of choice. Yet others will demonstrate a great flexibility in their behaviour and choose to focus on what they want. The mind is a funny thing, it’s actually a great goal setting machine and it will take you to where ever you choose to go..

The reality is that we all have a choice on what we focus on and you need to develop a keen sense of knowing if you are getting what you really want.

Check in using various strategies – ask yourself if you can see, hear or feel if this is right for you.

Check your language – is it positive or negative?  The mind works in symbols and you can shift the way that you are thinking about you by creating a vision that is exciting and inspiring.

Make it a clear vision and start to take responsibility for your goals and aspirations. I’m sure you have heard the saying “life is not a dress rehearsal”. Take a moment to go within and set some goals to be the best you can be…. knowing that you have most of the resources that you need within you already!

Steps to take:

  • Be clear about the outcome.
  • Take action
  • Be aware if what you are doing is working
  • Be willing to be flexible if necessary
  • Believe…..trust your unconscious mind as it will always tell you what it needs…. are you listening to it?

Overcoming Issues

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We all have issues… some big, some small and it is our response that determines the outcome.

Do you have a default behaviour that you return to when an issue pops its head up and confronts you?

Do you face it head on and resolve to create a positive outcome?

Do you react in ways that make you or others around you uncomfortable?

What is the risk to you if you continue to respond this way?

A client recently wanted to discuss how to handle an issue with a person that he has known for some 30 plus years. Never really close, he became aware that this person was “giving off negative vibes” but didn’t know why.

The issue came to a head recently when he was walking into a garden centre and walking straight towards him was this person. He smiled and went to say “hello”, whereupon the other person turned their head and walked off in a different direction. The client described how he felt his insides turn and he felt like a small child at school again. He described how one part of him wanted to pursue the person and confront him, yet another part of him just wanted to cry as he felt abandoned.

I handed him a poem that I have found useful to refer to over the years :

Reason, Season, Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Thank you for being a part of my life,
whether you were a reason, a season or a lifetime.

 Brian Andrew  Chalker

After several sessions, he came to the conclusion that any previous friendship was fractured beyond repair and decided that he would let it go. He had extended the hand of friendship and reconciliation several times over the last few years, but was being rebuffed each time …. Each time he experienced an internal response of a profound sense of rejection. He was no longer comfortable with feeling this way and wanted to change how he reacted yet  was saddened that they had not been able to communicate with each other to resolve any problems in earlier times. In the hypnotic state, the client then expressed gratitude to his friend for having been in his life for a season and asked for forgiveness for any hurts that he may have unintentionally caused.

After that session he said that he had realized it was almost like picking at a scab …..the wound opens up again, the skin weeps a bit and a new scab is formed, but if you do this too often the skin hardens up and a scar is made.

 

Taking a step back…

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The most recent visit to the retreat was after the olive trees were planted and they looked as if they had settled in quite well. The grass in the labyrinth had grown by about a foot and it seemed an ideal time to use the newly acquired whipper snipper to good use.  With a brisk north wind blowing and forgetting that I have a rye grass allergy, I had a shot at redefining the paths. After a short time, I had to retire to re-hydrate and to take some antihistamines!

The antihistamines went to work, but I couldn’t shake the tiredness and a cough had developed. Returning to the city, I grabbed some take away for dinner, but didn’t have much of an appetite and went to bed quite early by my standards. Monday morning I tried to get a doctor’s appointment, but no luck. Probably something to do with the political announcement that doctors fees were going up because of the government restructure of Medicare.  I stayed in bed…. by Wednesday, I knew it was time to see a doctor. Again, no appointments available at my usual GP, so off to the bulk bill clinic down the road.

Pneumonia was diagnosed….. just what I didn’t need with a busy Reiki teaching month and hypnotherapy clients coming up.  After a bout last year, which took ages to recover my energy from, I decided then and there that I had to take a deeper look into why I was manifesting this. Being in an altered state from the illness has given a different perspective and rather than wanting to be in a state of helplessness, I decided that I would use this enforced “time out” as a positive exercise.

Louise Hay in Heal Your Body sees pneumonia as being “tired of life. Emotional wounds that are not allowed to heal” – her aphorism for this is ” I freely take in Divine ideas that are filled with the breath and intelligence of Life. This is a new moment”.

Debbie Shapiro in Your Body Speaks Your Mind goes a little further, suggesting that we need to look at what might be so deeply inflaming our feelings about breathing…. or if it is something within that we are unable to express. “….there are hot emotions her, as well as pain and exhaustion, depleting our energy. The act of breathing is the act of living. Are you feeling exhausted or overwhelmed by the burden of having to keep going? Is there a longing to stop and take some time out?  ………The relationship of breath to spirit is often seen in this illness, as mystical or spiritual experiences are not uncommon in those suffering from pneumonia…….”

Caroline Myss in Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, states ” When an illness is part of your spiritual journey, no medical intervention can heal you until your spirit has begun to make the changes that the illness was designed to inspire…..the most effective healing option. when you are facing an illness as a spiritual challenge, is to rely on your spiritual practice to bring you the insights you need. ………Seeing illness as a spiritual challenge does not reduce our chances of healing, but we need to understand that spirituality is first and foremost the path of gaining inner rather than physical strength. Physical healing can certainly follow, but whether it occurs or not is part of one’s spiritual destiny………..”

She continues….”healing requires a willingness to make changes in both your physical and spiritual ways of life. Healthy changes of lifestyle and spiritual practice are parallel roads leading to the same goal, and each road needs to be driven along every day.”

So in the company of good teachers, I’m taking a little time out to make some changes with both the physical and spiritual ways of life.

An Astrological New Year

Abundance, Astrology, clarity, crossroads, flow, goals, intention, mindfulness, oracle cards, spirit

Just recently, the astrological influences were full of Chiron in almost every aspect of my chart.
Fortunate to be offered a chance to be a “case study” for a friend undertaking post graduate qualifications, I saw this as an opportunity to work on “The Wounded Healer”.

Interesting what came up for me at this time and I have started working on an outline for a new book as a result.

I’m happy to have help from all areas, including Astrology, Tarot and the spirit world, if it brings some clarity to my life.
I subscribe to a daily forecast for Gemini and find that the readings are generally pretty spot on for me…. today’s was interesting!

“Despite the fact that you’re now in the early days of your birthday month and new solar year and you even have a New Moon in 2 days time that will ask that you draw a new line in the sand, it’s too soon to fully turn your back on the past. Instead you have the luxury of being able to leave the doors to the past open, retaining a clear view of the rear view mirror and the road ahead. At any time, when you’re unsure what new steps you should take, you’re free to look back to the past for inspiration.“

 It’s crossroads time again……
I’m drawn to spending more time up at the retreat ….. but that requires some building extensions and serious electrical and plumbing work to make it work. As well as deciding whether I will go to live up there full time at some stage,.
Then there is a decision to make as to whether I keep paying rent on the clinic room I have at present (especially if I’m not there all the time). It might make more economic sense to let it go and use my home office again, now that dear old Ben the Labrador is no longer there to cry at the closed door.

I turned to Colette Baron-Reid’s The Enchanted Map this morning for a 6 card reading. 5 cards fell on the floor as I was shuffling, so I kept them and laid them out in the order they fell, then picked a final card from the cut deck to make up the 6.

  1. Past Influence – Magic Stream (Reversed) – Swimming against the current… time to stop “trying”, jump into the stream and float……immersing yourself and be fully present in the moment. Many of my talks have been on Meditation and Mindfulness. I have an emWave (which sat idle for many months … time to walk the talk and be fully present.
  2. Present Point – Rock Bottom – This is the point where you can go no further doing what you have been doing. The old way of doing things must be discarded in order to move fully onward and upward. A new direction & strategy are needed. Surrender, accept things as they are & synchronicity will sort things out. By letting go completely a miracle can occur…Wasn’t it Einstein who said that the definition of insanity was doing the same thing over and over again? Time to get over myself and use the gifts and therapy tools in a different way. Let go and let God is another saying that one of my teachers gave me…..
  3. What you resist – Intention – Inspired intentions are like magic arrows shot into the sky….connect to the power of intention, let others help to co-create reality & allow synchronicity to work the magic. Own the life you want to lead & live deliberately…..Rather than daydreaming, it’s time to focus the intention on what I really  want…. making some positive goals, setting time frames …. all the very things I ask clients to do……..
  4. Unexpected Help – Rescue You are always safe and secure, and free to be yourself are the words at the top of the guide to this card…Asking for help isn’t easy for many successful people. However, that’s what you need to do now as you expand your life. Ask and assistance will come your way and the expected support will come from Spirit. With the right relationship with the Divine, conditions will line up and help will arrive….. It’s easy to forget to ask Spirit and the Angels for help. It has always come in the past and for that I have been grateful. I’m sure gratitude is the key ….
  5. The next right action – Encouragement The last card in this deck... “you are receiving a nudge in the right direction”…. Step into your power, into the dream of your life. New things are out there to be explored and the universe is giving you a nudge in the right direction. You will get the help you need and won’t be alone in your quest. Every step is supported by the wisdom of the universe. You are on the right path….. keep going! Not the time to give up…Memo to self…. stop wallowing, take the Victim stamp off your forehead…. yes the past has had some difficult circumstances, but it is the past and like the astrological reading says, view it in the rear view mirror as you drive  with a clear view to a new destination – the future…
  6. Probable future destination – Mountain “You have the capacity to flow around any obstacle. This is the time to adapt”…. what seems to be an insurmountable obstacle, like a mountain is in the path of success. Rather than climb it, be like the rivers that flow around mountains naturally. Adapt to circumstances. If you do climb it, take one step at a time…. 

And so the reading comes full circle….. I do have to chuckle at what a random set of cards will come up with.

Just to be sure I drew one more card for my Soul’s Intention. 
Home – Peace, security, safety, belonging are all features one would want from “Home” are indicated now. Time for opening your eyes to your tribe of like minded people. … home is love & it’s all around you ….you are where you are meant to be and will reap great benefits by staying on this path, regardless of where it leads  – Home is where the heart is!! I found this reading to be quite educational. Certainly there are layers that need to be further unpacked.  
Already we are beginning to come into the energy of the New Moon on Thursday. This makes it an excellent time to do a series of meditations on this reading and create the intent to move forward at the same time as letting go of ego’s investment in the outcome. 
A great time to set new goals, which model to use?  
SMART, GROW, Be Do Have or another? 
Maybe all of the them as an exercise to gain clarity.
Behavioural flexibility is yet another key…… I can’t change the world, but I can change the way I think, what I do, which in turn will change my physiology and my perspective.