Category Archives: Spirituality

Simplicity

As an adult sometimes it is difficult to see the funny side of life and it takes the innocence of a child to lighten us up. Recently I attended the interment of the ashes of someone close – not a happy occasion at the best of times, but there was laughter and amusement.

It has been said that “laughter is love” and that was certainly evident as a small group of people gathered to pay their final respects.

Yes, there was sadness, but there was the delight of children as they released balloons to symbolize the letting go which was a pleasure to witness and certainly lightened my heart. Their involvement in the proceedings was simple and it was delightful to observe their pleasure in participating.

The universe also cooperated with a fairly spectacular sunset which I felt made the proceedings a little spiritual. The view from the graveside was peaceful and whilst other attendees were grieving in their own ways, I felt some sadness, yet I was quite at peace and was able to go with the flow of energy from the environment.

Often the simplicity of children is overlooked and they can be remarkably straightforward. Uncluttered by emotional baggage, not making mountains out of molehills observing children in a situation such as this gives much food for thought.

What if we could easily set that baggage down and simplify our lives….leaving the clutter of the past behind?

Taking a step back…

The most recent visit to the retreat was after the olive trees were planted and they looked as if they had settled in quite well. The grass in the labyrinth had grown by about a foot and it seemed an ideal time to use the newly acquired whipper snipper to good use.  With a brisk north wind blowing and forgetting that I have a rye grass allergy, I had a shot at redefining the paths. After a short time, I had to retire to re-hydrate and to take some antihistamines!

The antihistamines went to work, but I couldn’t shake the tiredness and a cough had developed. Returning to the city, I grabbed some take away for dinner, but didn’t have much of an appetite and went to bed quite early by my standards. Monday morning I tried to get a doctor’s appointment, but no luck. Probably something to do with the political announcement that doctors fees were going up because of the government restructure of Medicare.  I stayed in bed…. by Wednesday, I knew it was time to see a doctor. Again, no appointments available at my usual GP, so off to the bulk bill clinic down the road.

Pneumonia was diagnosed….. just what I didn’t need with a busy Reiki teaching month and hypnotherapy clients coming up.  After a bout last year, which took ages to recover my energy from, I decided then and there that I had to take a deeper look into why I was manifesting this. Being in an altered state from the illness has given a different perspective and rather than wanting to be in a state of helplessness, I decided that I would use this enforced “time out” as a positive exercise.

Louise Hay in Heal Your Body sees pneumonia as being “tired of life. Emotional wounds that are not allowed to heal” – her aphorism for this is ” I freely take in Divine ideas that are filled with the breath and intelligence of Life. This is a new moment”.

Debbie Shapiro in Your Body Speaks Your Mind goes a little further, suggesting that we need to look at what might be so deeply inflaming our feelings about breathing…. or if it is something within that we are unable to express. “….there are hot emotions her, as well as pain and exhaustion, depleting our energy. The act of breathing is the act of living. Are you feeling exhausted or overwhelmed by the burden of having to keep going? Is there a longing to stop and take some time out?  ………The relationship of breath to spirit is often seen in this illness, as mystical or spiritual experiences are not uncommon in those suffering from pneumonia…….”

Caroline Myss in Why People Don’t Heal and How They Can, states ” When an illness is part of your spiritual journey, no medical intervention can heal you until your spirit has begun to make the changes that the illness was designed to inspire…..the most effective healing option. when you are facing an illness as a spiritual challenge, is to rely on your spiritual practice to bring you the insights you need. ………Seeing illness as a spiritual challenge does not reduce our chances of healing, but we need to understand that spirituality is first and foremost the path of gaining inner rather than physical strength. Physical healing can certainly follow, but whether it occurs or not is part of one’s spiritual destiny………..”

She continues….”healing requires a willingness to make changes in both your physical and spiritual ways of life. Healthy changes of lifestyle and spiritual practice are parallel roads leading to the same goal, and each road needs to be driven along every day.”

So in the company of good teachers, I’m taking a little time out to make some changes with both the physical and spiritual ways of life.

Oh My!

A New Moon in Pisces, the Autumn Equinox and a total solar eclipse in the Northern Hemisphere……

So many articles are available on the web to read about this, ranging from the scientific explaining about the equinox and the solar eclipse to the metaphysical, which inspires introspection and examination of our psyche.

I’ll leave the science to those more qualified…. and add my commentary to the metaphysical. Although not a trained Astrologer, I have a great interest in the effects of the zodiac on both the psyche and the physical body through my studies of Homeopathy and Polarity Therapy. As someone who works with these energy therapies in combination with Reiki and Hypnotherapy, I am drawn to the nuances of astrological alignments and the older, often unseen energies of the Earth. These are most noticeable to me when I walk the labyrinth or work on improvements at my country retreat.

Taking the opportunity of this great triune of celestial events it was hardly surprising that when I experienced a Quantum Consciousness session with a colleague  that I discovered a common theme or thread running through each level of consciousness including snippets of past lives. The realization that life can be simple if we so choose and when we choose to reveal our soul knowledge to others, we can truly be of service to the earth.  The session brought about greater confidence and the knowledge that I am a conduit to pass on this information.  Knowing that the heritage and lineage of past lives has contributed to my learning and contribution to this lifetime was profound. Connections that can be verified by dates on the family tree and by meeting a person that recognised me from my most recent past life.

Orb on boundary fenceA clear message was sent to set aside time daily to meditate and reconnect with the earth energies as they are showing themselves to me more readily in photos.  It’s the tapping into the ancient understanding and energies of the land that creates a still and peaceful state.

The labyrinth can be used as a metaphor for living a more aware life….. you walk and focus on just one part of the path, yet understand that at the same time you cannot get lost on your journey into the centre and out again. Beginning the walk requires an intention. Each circuit of the labyrinth can represent a different dimension, a different stage of life, evolution or development. Each part of the path changes according to your perspective – at times the path may seem straight and others times, curved. You have to trust in the journey and walk the distance.

The stillness at the centre, the inner peace and to “keep it simple” was the overwhelming message from the session. An overview of past and present lives with stories to tell, lessons learned and a glimpse of a calm and peaceful future awaits if the fluff and dross of the hurley burley of modern life is noted and set aside. The realization that each soul has a purpose that can be manifested through other lifetimes and other physical bodies as we continue to evolve outside the realms of time and space.

It’s THAT time of year

It can be a challenge to maintain balance in your life at this time of yearbe kind, with parties, pressure to complete tasks before the end of the year and emotional responses sometimes muddled by over indulgences.

Take some time out to nurture and care for yourself and nourish both body and soul by choosing healthy foods and taking a long deep breath and letting go the difficulties that may have come your way. Whatever these may be, respond rather that react in ways that may hurt others. Being sensitive to your needs as well as letting go of self-criticism is one of the best gifts that you can give to yourself and others.

Listen and learn to trust your intuition…..there’s a benefit to it!

Creativity comes from trust. Trust your instincts

Rita Mae Brown

This time of year seems to magnify the challenges and difficulties  as the energy of the Solstice coincides with the religious festivals that start in early December.

This year Bodhi Day, celebrated by Buddhists, coincided with the Full Moon in Gemini.

Hanukkah begins on the 17th December and for the Pagans, Yule is celebrated with the Winter Solstice. In the Southern Hemisphere the opposite festival, Litha & the Summer Solstice is celebrated, which this year is at the same time as a New Moon.

Remembering as well the Christmas energy which builds up to Epiphany, on January 6th, celebrating the arrival of the Three Wise Men who brought gifts of Gold, Frankincense and Myrrh. The first Full Moon of 2015 is on this day as well.

Whatever problems you may face during these next few weeks, change your mindset to see them as challenges and use the experience and learning from them as stepping-stones to a transformation.

Allow yourself to be vulnerable, as when the heart is open, spirit connects. Use the energy of this time of year to dream….acknowledge your dreams…. trust your instincts and follow your heart’s desire.

The care of your soul is one of the greatest gifts that you can give yourself and by enthusiastically cooperating with your inner being or soul, you will light a spark of creativity, perhaps magic or divine, to shine on  the road to fulfilling your goals.

The Labyrinth

LabyrinthI still haven’t managed to get a full picture of the labyrinth, my son suggested putting a card in his remote control helicopter and taking a photo with that, but that’s for another day!

This is after I dug out the lines to redefine the path and added some garden gypsum to the mounds created. The idea behind this is that the channels created will hold the moisture and keep the soil nearby easier to work with. Most of the area is heavy clay, so the gypsum will help break that down.

Originally, I wanted to put some coarse grade gypsum, used for driveways or around cattle troughs on the path, but there are some persistent weeds that would simply grow through the gravel.  The metaphysical properties of gypsum are interesting and it  works on the Heart & Base Chakras as well as bringing clarity to the person using it. Ideal for a labyrinth walk! I will enquire more about the coarse grade gypsum at the Elmore Field Day coming up in October.

You can see in the photo where I started to take a fine layer of soil off the path, but still the onion grass came up.  A bonus was that the five pointed purple flowers  were pretty to look at as I walked the circuit! They have now been replaced by Capeweed, which has bright yellow petals and a black centre.  Ideas for the future development of the path range from sowing lawn seed and getting a mower to maintain it or waiting until the soil softens again and hiring a mechanical tiller and digging it up to weed it more vigorously.

The plinth in the centre has a small depression in it, which I fill with water for the birds. There is a nest of Blue Wrens nearby and lots of fast moving little birds that I have yet to identify. It is offset slightly and one corner is orientated North.

After the gypsum was applied, it was loosely worked into the soil mounds and I set about peeling 6 bulbs of Australian Garlic. Some of the cloves had already started to sprout and as they lay on the tray in the sunlight, seemed to grow a little more each time I glanced at them. Once peeled, they went into a bucket of water and I planted them in most of the outer ring of the labyrinth. It’s just an experiment – if they grow – they grow and should provide yet another purple flower to look at around New Year. The bonus will be a crop of garlic with the labyrinth energy. Rain was forecast for the next day and if the weather report was correct, the area got some 13mm of rain after we left – just enough to water in the gypsum and the garlic.

 

Sun in Gemini

A new Solar Year for happy Gemini’s began on May 21st and for me, there has been a number of changes that have taken place.
For instance, a few weeks ago Chiron (The Wounded Healer or The Teacher of Higher Knowledge) was influencing most areas of my chart, bringing some emotional ups and downs, but most of all the message was to address old issues and patterns that have been laid down from early childhood.
 It is a relatively new planet, only discovered in 1977, but exerts a powerful influence.
Chiron is about identity and balance.  Healing the roots of the emotional wound, particularly childhood wounds can then lead to a greater connection to self and in turn identity.
Chiron also is about Spirituality and the Higher Self. Two recent cards from one of my favourite decks were Transformation and Self Recognition!
I’m looking at the plethora of Chiron transits on my chart as an opportunity for Transformation and to discover a new sense of identity.
With both Scorpio ascendant and Scorpio moon, I’m probably not the most typical Gemini, but that’s another story…..
The Scorpio passion for causes sometimes leads me a little off track……and as we head into the dark side of the moon….(which used to be a term for lunacy) and head towards the New Moon on May 29th…. it’s a time for reflection on how the last year went…..making plans for the new year and watering the seeds that have been planted……

” Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day
You fritter and waste the hours in an offhand way.
Kicking around on a piece of ground in your home town
Waiting for someone or something to show you the way.

Tired of lying in the sunshine staying home to watch the rain.
You are young and life is long and there is time to kill today.
And then one day you find ten years have got behind you.
No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.

So you run and you run to catch up with the sun but it’s sinking
Racing around to come up behind you again.
The sun is the same in a relative way but you’re older,
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death.

Every year is getting shorter never seem to find the time.
Plans that either come to naught or half a page of scribbled lines
Hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way
The time is gone, the song is over,
Thought I’d something more to say. “

Mason, Waters, Wright, Gilmour
The Dark Side of The Moon

Settling in at the Retreat

Summer has been long and hot and with the threat of bushfires, particularly as we are reasonably close to the Rushworth State Forest, trips to the retreat have been dependent on checking out weather conditions and deciding if we want to be there in the heat or stay home and have the option of a pool to slide into to cool down!
Being self employed gives a little more flexibility and we decided to add an extra day either side of the Labor Day public holiday to avoid traffic and have more time to do “stuff”.
Packing the car has become an art form as necessities (& luxuries) are taken up there and left….

Luxuries like 4 matching banana lounges….perfect for star gazing!
Sitting in a normal deck chair to watch the satellites and stars, results in a cricked neck if you do it for too long, so the banana lounges are ideal, even if they are a little low to the ground…..

The shed has become a cooking area, with gas camping stove, electric frypan, Dad’s old toaster and benchtop oven and even a donated microwave….
A comfy 3 seater lounge and chairs (also Dad’s old furniture) are also stored in the shed.
This last visit saw the installation of a roman blind over one of the shed windows to reduce the sun fading the fabric on the sofa  and there have been discussions about installing a roof vent and insulation to make it more pleasant to be in (hot in summer and no doubt it will be chilly in winter).

About 10 acres of the block is covered with a bush that is locally considered a nuisance, but not a noxious weed. It has grown too high to use the slasher, so the only other option was to attach a grader blade to the tractor.
Only problem was that the blade was seized stuck with rust from being in the open.
With a little work (& diesel and oil mix) and pushing up against a strong tree, the attachment loosened up and Michael and a friend, Rod, began the task of flattening the bushes by driving over them and dragging the blade behind. More comfortable than sitting for some time, twisting backwards as the tractor is reversed over the bushes.
Hot and dusty work and the aging tractor began to make some ominous noises from the gear box.
Most of the area treated this way has stayed flat over a two week  period and is dying off. The flattened bushes can be removed by hand and stacked up, ready to burn once the fire season is over, but this is labour intensive and I’m not so keen on having piles of flammable material, whereas if it is flat it may mulch down.
Another alternative is to find a fencing contractor who specializes in brush fencing and offer them the option to harvest it for free. That way they will get their fencing materials and we will get rid of the bushes!

The composting toilet is working well, using 20 litre buckets, recycled from the local (city) chicken & chip shop, sawdust from the hardware store and we picked up some mulch from a roadside heap that was created after the bushfires near Kilmore. The intent is to leave the sealed buckets for 12 months or more to get rid of any pathogens & then add them to a compost heap to break down further.
This will then be used on the planned fruit and nut tree grove.
I hope to install a second composting toilet in the cottage in the near future and the ceramic pan (which was not hooked up to anything and lacked a cistern) has been removed, leaving much more space in the shower room.
The previous owners left behind a chemical toilet, but that requires some nasty chemicals, water and a disposal pit,  although it has been suggested that a homebrand nappy soaker is more environmentally friendly.

On to more pleasant topics….
The visit at the end of February involved cleaning the lichen off the fibreglass dome. Washing it off also washed off the top gel coat of the fibreglass and we were left with a milky white liquid.
Fortunately, the camper trailer we have is fibreglass and the manufacturers included a bottle of fibreglass polish and wax…. only thing was that we didn’t have it with us on that trip. So Labor Day weekend saw the application of said wax early in the morning, before the heat and flies became a problem. Luckily the dome roof rotates, so I was able to move that around and work in the shade most of the time. The eastern walls had to be polished in the evening!

The idea behind having this place is create a retreat.. both for myself and my family but eventually having a space for practitioners who might need some time out to live simply for a few days.

This requires some preparation… energetically clearing the space, using Reiki and feng shui and adding some comforts.
Using the Autumn Equinox was perfect timing to start some serious energy work.

I brought up some Tibetan Prayer Flags on this trip and installed them around what will be a central gathering /fire pit area.

In this way, their energy will be working for the space even when I am not there.
Their vibrant colours will fade in time and the breeze over the weekend kept them active, adding to the energy.

The colours of the sunset on the night of the Equinox faded quickly, but I managed to capture them on the phone camera as I was having a wander around looking for a site to build the labyrinth.  Originally I had thought that a flattish area to the west would be ideal, but it is just a little too close to the neighbours. Then I thought down between the two dams….. but in winter that area will be quite boggy (if there are good rains).
Trusting that the right place would be revealed as I explored more, I continued to meditate.
Some time alone the next morning allowed me to do a really good energy cleansing of the cottage, which I finished off by cleaning the windows and adding Reiki symbols all around.
 Curiously the sliding door screen stuck fast when I opened it, and I couldn’t move it at all.
Michael returned from his expedition to the Aboriginal Waterhole at Whroo and inspected the damage. It was decided that a visit to the hardware store in Heathcote would be in order, to get new parts for the door.  That done, the door still refused to move freely on the tracks….. Too late for a return trip, it was decided to make a repeat trip the next day.
No part available …. so a road trip to Bendigo was in order to a larger hardware chain. A bit of a wander around and a late lunch eaten in a park, then back to the retreat.
The new parts (hangers) were fitted to the top of the door and just as the door was moved…… crack…. both parts broke.
We had been gone 4 hours on the return trip to get those parts…….
Luckily, Michael can think laterally, so he used screws we had bought from the Rushworth hardware store to install the roman blind, to connect the broken bits together and eventually we had a screen door that opens and closes as it should……. what a day!!

An old yabbie net had turned up on our explorations, so some left over meat was put into an onion bag and tied securely, and the net tossed into the top dam. A couple of hours later, there was a yabbie having a feast…. disentangled and it scarpered back into the muddy water. Later that evening, when we checked with Peter who had come over from his place at Redcastle, all the meat had gone .. & so had the yabbies!!
We had another go on Sunday morning and caught 2 more. One with half a claw missing…. and both back into the water…
Apparently they have to be purged in fresh water for about a week before eating… so the net from home will go up and the yabbies may become an Easter feast……
As I went for a last minute wander on Sunday after packing up, I came across a space that somehow I have missed before.
Towards the Eastern boundary, yet quite private.

 A bit more of a slope than I would prefer, but that could add to the sensory experience…
It feels as if it is the right place for a labyrinth….

 And just a little further to the East ….
…….a small clearing, almost circled perfectly by some trees….

I can see the potential to put benches in the spaces between the trees and a small fire pit to do some circle work……..

A Master Number Day

 2 + 1 + 1 + 2 + 0 + 1 + 4 = 11 ….. a Master Number Day……. and what an interesting day it has been so far….
This month is a continuation of last year’s quest to simplify and a few activities that I was involved in last year have now been put aside. Just to test me, a possible new venture was put in my path and although the person was quite persuasive, it didn’t sit right.

Business planning for the next 90 days is underway and a review of websites and their content is happening. Pages have been deleted and templates changed.  A quick break for a cup of tea and a refill of the water bottle and back to the office……and just after I had entered the room….. an almighty crash!! Two certificates fell to the floor…… two others, above and below stayed secure on the wall. No glass broken… and another tenant came rushing out to see if I was OK.
A quick spray of space clearing essence and then some clearing work to be done as a couple of things have moved in the past week or so and my sacred bamboo has suddenly turned up its toes and terminally wilted.

My timetabled study done, another break was beckoning. This time I decided to consult the cards ……Using the Rider Waite deck, the following 3 turned up. I don’t consider myself a Tarot reader  to read for others, but I will turn the cards for myself.

In the context of my life at present, I found it interesting that I picked up a card with a garden or agricultural background.

Currently sowing the seeds of new beginnings, I will tend these seeds carefully so as to be rewarded with a good harvest.

I also see this as holding the foundations of future abundance as I begin to follow my soul’s path.

The second card I drew was the 3 of Swords.
Initially when I looked at it first I saw only the Heart, then the piercing of it with the 3 swords.
A validation that the ending of several draining relationships was literally, in the cards!
A time of release…. and time to focus on recovery by letting go and moving on.
Explains the deep sadness that has enveloped me the last couple of days….

I had to laugh to myself when the third card revealed itself…. The Fool!
Carrying a bag of tricks  on his shoulder, if one should look inside, I’m sure it contains powerful dreams and gifts

Stepping out and beginning a new journey, the challenge is to maintain balance on what seems to be a narrow path, yet maintain an equilibrium between heaven and earth. I’m always needing to be more grounded!!

The small white dog seems to protect yet push the boundaries of the traveller who seems to be appreciating the beauty of the journey – sun shining and mountains in the distance. With face turned heavenward to better receive the information of the gods and yet treading lightly upon the earth, this card seems to me to be a signal to confront any fears and trust that I will take the next step safely.

Only today, I noticed that the card has a zero at the top. Starting with nothing and creating the endless possibilities contained within a circle? Or “O” for optimism?

A pleasant interlude and the creation of a space to share my personal interpretation of the cards.

Stepping off the merry go round

There is the Zen parable that tells of the young monk who stumbled and as he fell, caught hold of some bamboo to steady himself. The Zen Master accompanying him asked if he noticed that the bamboo bent, yet was strong enough to support him. He also asked the novice if he had also noticed how bamboo gets pushed around by the wind, yet always grows tall towards the sunlight above….not snapping… a most resilient plant…..

It took quite a lot of courage for me to finally say “No – I’m not going to that function” & I did it with the help of the grief counsellor that I’ve been seeing this past year. Not reaching snapping point, but that stillpoint inside where there is a knowing that it is time to do the “right thing” for myself.

Girls are raised to “do the right thing” and for many years, I’ve acquiesced and gone along to functions where I haven’t felt comfortable. One girlfriend laughed many years ago, when I told her of the story of bending in the wind like the grass or bamboo….. she suggested “doormat” would be a better description.

I’ve never really enjoyed the hoopla and razzle dazzle of tinsel and false bonhomie…The over indulgences in the senses with food or the misappropriation of sacred music that has been turned into Musak for the masses long before Advent starts. I’ve long thought that Christmas really doesn’t suit the introverted empath!
This year I wanted to experience some peace and serenity on my own …. not long … a few hours would suffice.
My soul needed some lush, green energy to repair.
Sunday morning saw some chores completed and then I set off on my adventure. Fully intending to go to the beach, not that I really enjoy the beach, I started to drive. I asked that I be guided to where I needed to be, (& please include an Oak tree!) I took familiar roads and realized that I was near a pretty picnic spot in the Dandenongs. No room in the carpark… full! Not what I wanted at all even though the tree ferns looked spectacular….. Then I saw a side road, it looked as if it might be interesting and made my way along that. Lots of tight curves and it required full attention to drive…. nothing like mindfulness and being in the moment!
As I emerged to the top of the hill a sign caught my eye… some Memorial Gardens….. a little further down the road I decided to go back and investigate. I parked, wandered in a little hesitantly as the place seemed deserted….and read the sign….

You really do have to chuckle at what the Universe throws up at you!

 I was born a Harper (not the same family that developed the gardens). It seemed that this was just the right place to be…. I wondered if there was an Oak tree……
 Following the meandering paths, I came to a small clearing and there was a majestic Oak tree.. with a bench nearby to sit on and contemplate the surrounds.
 It was time to just “be”. As another saying goes, “we are human BEings, not human DOings”.
Curious about the rest of the gardens, I set off to explore… masses of Hydrangeas starting to flower… a few months ago the Camelias and Azaelias would have been centre stage.
So many varieties of Japanese Maples, their delicate leaves providing texture and colour to the backdrop of so many interesting plants.
Another strategically placed bench and contemplation of the Foxgloves for a few moments.
Observing how the Currawong family were playing in the branches of tall trees.

Before I knew it, a couple of hours had passed & I had a phone call from my son wondering if I was OK.

Yes I was…. better than I have been for some time…. a combination of the energy of the gardens and finally stepping into my integrity.
Walking back to the Oak tree, I noticed a couple of brightly coloured butterflies, dancing in the sun and the dappled shade.

Symbols of transformation, of finding joy in life and a symbol of the soul….

A little soul work

A recent Louise Hay Facebook post suggested that one should take time to ask and explore these simple questions. Having a little time on my hands, as I recovered from the effects of a vaccine reaction, I decided to do this life audit.

What shall I now release from my life?
Fever creates some clarity and what I am now ready to release unhelpful behaviours, such as dwelling on the past – as the saying goes “The past is a country & I don’t live there anymore”. With the suffocating cough, I consulted Louise Hay’s  You Can Heal Your Life and found that the probable cause of coughing is

  • A desire to bark at the world. “See me! Listen to me!

…. the new thought pattern or affirmation leaps from the page to shout at me……I AM NOTICED AND APPRECIATED IN THE MOST POSITIVE WAYS. I AM LOVED
What or who no longer works for me?
Still in the tribal chakra realms….. What no longer works for me is denying my spiritual, political and core beliefs. 
I am ready to accept that there is a higher power and a realm of helpers ..be they guides or angels ….. and with the recent federal election was unable to vote with a clear conscience for either major political party and can now announce I am more aligned with the philosophy of the Greens. 

The Who is a little more tricky, but I am ready to let go of many of the people in my life who, although many of whom have been around for 30 plus years, do not exhibit the ability to demonstrate loving or compassionate support when most needed. This includes many members of the family that I married into and was further validated by their complete lack of warmth in welcoming both my son and daughter’s partners into the fold.

What am I holding on to that holds me back?
Old habits die hard…. once a pattern has been established, it is easy to replicate. It is easier to just go with the flow, rather than rock the boat. When you become accustomed to dysfunction, after a while you adapt and it becomes the norm….. Late last week, I did the “right thing” and went to a function even though I was still unwell, that I really didn’t want to go to. Even as I went, my inner voice was chattering away in my ear….”Hypocrite”…..
Another clue is the probable cause from Heal Your Life….

  • Respiratory Ailments …. Fear of taking in life fully. 

So here I am, living a twilight life because I am holding on to what is comfortable, which in reality is holding me back…
The affirmation or new thought pattern is “I am safe. I love my life”. 

Looking back at what I just wrote, the realization  dawns that what is holding me back is procrastination. Finding external excuses to justify the inertia of not making the changes. It really is up to me to create the life I love.

What thoughts or beliefs belong to the old me?
Growing up in my own dysfunctional family, there was a strong competitive streak for academic achievement between my brother and myself. Homework time was difficult as he seemed to grasp the Maths so easily and could add long lists of numbers like my father, in his head. 

It was easy to believe that I was “not good enough” at Maths, choir, sport and the list goes on. Yet I surprised everyone by getting 100% for a geometry test not long after and was most indignant when it was suggested that I had somehow cheated. I understood the shapes, the sacred geometry and could “see” how it worked, whereas the numbers alone or in algebraic formulas made no sense at all. 
Having people around me that don’t believe in me is no longer an option and last week a family member questioned me about the diagnosis of a vaccine reaction. That may not have fitted her belief system, as she has total faith in vaccinations. I need to trust in my gut reactions and create clear boundaries in order to believe in me!!

How am I being unloving to myself?
How cleverly I have manifested excess weight and recent illnesses!! 
By being unwell, the cycle of lack of energy and being unfit are ways in which I can be unkind to this physical body. 

The last couple of weeks has seen me juicing and the vitality of the fresh fruits and vegetables are helping my body and soul mend. By denying my soul connection to living a more spiritual life, by living out of integrity, I have been harsh and unloving to myself.

Am I ready to let go?
A resounding yes!!! The last few weeks have been like a hibernation… a retreat into a cocoon…. and with spring well and truly in the air, it is time to emerge and let go of the past. Yes, some of the experiences may have defined my perception of the the world, but even as my body is still weak and I am repairing, the spirit feels so much stronger and ready to soar.

What do I believe that really works for me?

It has taken a while, but I am starting to trust in myself, trusting my own judgement. So trusting in the universe a little more often seems like a pretty good idea too! 
Looking back, there have been many instances of how things have worked out just OK for me whilst all around is chaos. 
This is now the time to trust that the angels, my guides will lead me towards a future that is fulfilling and full of love, laughter and abundance.

What is going on in my life that is terrific and wonderful?
A sense of anticipation with life changes that are happening in so many subtle and wonderful ways. 
A new grandchild and observing a new family unit being created with such love, yet seeing them not accepting the dysfunctional behaviours exhibited by cousins that were once close. 
A few close and special friends who also have an interest in the spiritual and esoteric check in on me from time to time. New friends with similar ethics have offered to help and whilst this is a little strange, I can learn to be open to their warm and loving ways.

Where am I being very loving to myself?

I am allowing myself time off. Time to sit. To think. To just be. I am going within and having a big spring clean of memories, perceptions and allowing myself time to grieve. Not just for the loss of my father, but the loss of my mother who died in 1999. I went to Perth for the funeral, came back to Melbourne and life just went on and I was surrounded by people who just didn’t seem to care, or who didn’t like any expression of emotion.

Where am I most content?
I have a soul urge to go back to the bush. To have a place where I can just be. 
Not the desert, where I am equally comfortable, but a place that has some clear plains, maybe a small rise with some granite boulders and some old, river gums. 
Where I can see the sunlight glinting on the half moon, crescent shaped leaves and the textures & colours of the bark. Where I can go outside at night and see the stars.     
Let me acknowledge myself for all the growth and change.
 

What do I want to bring to my life?
Integrity, warmth and understanding and abundance.

What do I want to create?

A life with no further regrets. A life full of laughter, full of genuine friends. A life that contributes in some small way to helping others become who they truly deserve to be.

How do I want the next year to be?
Busy, yet not frantic. With time to enjoy my children’s achievements and accomplishments. A busy, but rewarding Hypnotherapy practice, seeing clients who are looking to heal their past and to realize their soul potential. Time to find that bush block and build a healing sanctuary and labyrinth to walk within.

Who do I want to bring into my world?
Friends and colleagues who are walking on the same spiritual discovery path. Soulmates, soul friends and those who have something to teach and share.

How do I want to look?
I want to look healthy and at peace.  Radiating health from within to without.

What image do I want to project?
Having taken off the masks that I wore for so long,  there is no longer a need to project an image…  that I am now finally comfortable in my own skin, what you see is what you get. I have allowed the colours and tips to grow out of my hair and am comfortable with the grey and white streaks that have appeared. I have earned these stripes!

How healthy do I want to be?
I am ready now to take better care of my health by reducing weight, leaving unhelpful habits  in the past. I want to be healthy and fit so as to build my dream and not be exhausted.

How prosperous do I want to feel?
Abundance comes in many ways and financial abundance is high on the list. The last few years have seen some struggles with financial abundance and this has allowed a greater appreciation  of the money flow when it happens.

How much love am I willing to experience?
Unlimited, unconditional love!! How big is the universe?

What kind of world do I want to live in?
 The ideal world would be a place where there is a sense of peace, a mindfulness and purpose to daily life. Where there is acceptance for difference, equality in relationships and trust that the Universe has enough for all.

Where do I want my spirituality to go?

To follow my soul urge, to create a sacred space that allows myself and others to get in touch with the core beliefs. To accept that others have their religious beliefs and not impinge upon them, yet maintaining my own boundaries as to my beliefs.

Affirm:

I know that where I am is the totality of possibilities . . . not just a few possibilities, but the totality of all creation.

I am not limited by statistics, medical opinions, time, or authorities.

I am one with the infinite wisdom and capabilities of the Universe itself.

All good is available to me, right here and right now.

All I have to do is to use the power of my thoughts to create that which I desire. I know that. Now let me live it!