A sense of belonging to our tribe, our family, our groups is one of our fundamental needs that often is unmet.
I believe we come here for this lifetime for a purpose, to make a difference.
Part of our growth comes from a understanding why we are here and once we have divined our purpose, peace of mind follows.
We may well struggle for some time in finding our purpose and often find ourselves diverted from our intended path.
This path can sometimes be littered with diversions which cause us to take a little longer to discover our purpose, but are still valuable learning experiences. Challenges along the way serve to create the spiritual and emotional breakthroughs that make the journey richer. Becoming accountable to yourself and acknowledging what is important and what is not is yet another challenge that can be overcome.
Learning to use our intuition, that “gut feeling”, aids in our survival. We have forgotten how to use this extra sense – the ancients trusted their intuitive powers and it helped in their survival. When we nurture our intuition, it is an extension of caring for our physical body and can nourish our emotional and spiritual self at the same time. Like a compass, intuition can guide us to the right tribe, family or group – leading us to a more meaningful and purposeful life..
How are you feeling?
Ever wondered why FaceBook is so popular?
It asks you each time you log in..
. “How’s it going?…..How are you feeling?
……I’m feeling fine, thanks!
But what if this was the only time you were asked?
What if …. your nearest and dearest didn’t ask similar questions?
…or stick around for a reply…..
Clever, almost subliminal questions that will get a lonely person disclosing more information than they probably should.
We all have a need to feel that we belong …. it’s part of our tribal archetype…..
What are you doing – right now?
A slightly different level of questioning – assuming that you want to tell your friends and acquaintances that all is OK.
Really?
With this question, I reckon more BS or “smoke and mirrors” is generated.. ….
No-one wants to be thought of as a “non achiever”!
On the flip side, do you really want to be reading all about the latest issues of your real friends. Stories abound of people dumped and finding out via social media….
Facebook is one of the few places where everyone is a winner.. especially if all your “friends” are coaches…..!
Masters of spin, mistresses of the re-frame……
Call me a cynic….
I do love the story of the Emperor’s New Clothes…… for those of you who are not familiar with it check it out……
http://youtu.be/wng-eSUk9I0
Are you doing what you want?
Life is too short to fit in all the things I would like to do – either I’m going to have to be an active senior or come back again for another lifetime!
Right now, I am doing what I love.
Some writing, some creating, seeing clients for Reiki and Hypnotherapy……& loving it!
Easily distracted by the next, new, bright shiny thing- just like a magpie – has led me on some fascinating journeys.
There is always something interesting to do and have explored many paths, all of which have taken me to exactly where I needed to be at the time and put me in touch with those I needed to meet….
A change in careers is not a problem – I have done it several times and will hopefully keep learning about new things for many more years to come. Nothing like keeping the brain cells active!
There have been times when there hasn’t always been all the money I would have liked to have, but somehow the universe has always provided.
I see people who are profoundly unhappy doing what they think they should in order to please others. See their souls being gradually become drab and listless
….are you doing what you want?
If not – why not?
Journeying….
I came across this prayer last week as I was preparing to take Dad’s ashes back to Perth to be laid to rest with Mum.
May the feet of God walk with you
and her hand hold you tight
May the eye of God rest on you
and his ear hear your cry
May the smile of God be for you
and her breath give you life
May the child of God grow in you
and his love bring you home.
Yesterday was the day.
I had planned a different day, but as Dad was cremated here in Victoria, I had to attend an interview to register his ashes in WA.
As it turned out the first available day was 6th February, which was the 2 month anniversary of his death.
An early morning flight there, combined with an afternoon return seemed the best option.
I like to use oracle cards and that afternoon I picked one that said “Be proud that you were brave enough to come to this challenging place we call Earth to learn”.
I certainly wasn’t feeling brave and commented on my Facebook page and got a supportive message from a couple of people I have only met briefly.
Booking the flight was not without its problems.
The return trip calendar defaulted to March 6th; because February and March dates and days are the same, I didn’t notice until I printed out my ticket confirmation.
Oh No! I didn’t want to be stuck in Perth for a month……. it’s a nice place, I could do with a holiday….but……NO.
A call to the airline and they sorted things out.
The crematorium staff had told me that I needed to advise the airline that I was carrying human remains, so I told the guy fixing up my ticket.
No charge for the wrong booking, which was really appreciated. He told me I would have to tell them at the gate before boarding, which I did and when I went to board – found that I had been put closer up the front!
Arriving in Perth, I picked up a car – which was cheaper than catching cabs – and made my way to Karrakatta.
Roadworks almost all the way…..slow trip….. but still got there in plenty of time for the appointment.
Memories of growing up in Perth as I drove down familiar roads, even though there has been a huge building boom there over the years, flooded back.
Street names off the Great Eastern Highway that I knew off by heart as I used to be a delivery driver. Riverside Drive and the cockies grazing on the grassed area.
Had to be a little vigilant to get onto Stirling Highway and past the old Swan Brewery. Keeping a lookout for a little jetty and boathouse where I lived on a small yacht which was moored off it at one stage…..
…….I even took a little detour past his old house in Shenton Park as a symbolic gesture.
The bag with the ashes in it was surprisingly heavy.
Carrying it in, I wondered if there was a cafe there to sit and while away the time rather than trying to find where Mum was located.
On reflection, I carried Mum in here too. I was a pallbearer for her and walked alongside her casket to the service. I wonder about the symbolism of carrying your parents after they have carried you……
Yes!….. a cafe at the gates!
I went in, ordered a cup of tea and just as the woman handed it over, a song came over the radio. She probably wondered why I laughed out loud and went to sit outside!
The Seekers singing – Now the Carnival is over……
Visual Meditation
I created this meditation to use with clients who have a strong visual representation. It is designed for the beginner meditator and if you find the music is not to your liking (hard to find music that is can be played without breaking copyright) , just mute it and follow the prompts on the slides.
Friendship spaces
Connection is what matters to us.
It’s one of our core needs.
Focus on Michaelangelo’s famous painting and its the space between the fingers, the expectation of contact or is it release, that is the motif of the painting.
Touch.
The soft, unconditional touch as you caress a newborn child.
Holding a hand with compassion for someone who is ill.
The light touch of a Reiki treatment, and for the practioner sensing the unseen, immeasurable energy.
The sense of anticipation as you reach out for a loved one.
Even the spark of static electricity that some people have (I frequently spark!) as you reach out to touch something….
It was Friedrich Neietzsche who said “Invisible threads are the strongest ties.”
The space between the hands in the photos is like the space between the notes in a piece of music. Invisible, yet strong.
Creating different harmonies as the energy is discharged.
How many ways can you be touched?
It’s not just physical touch.
A piece of music can touch our deepest emotions with its beauty, as too paintings and places in nature.
Friends touch us with their thoughtfulness when we are in need.
We can find friends in unusual places.
They can be around for years or just a little while.
Moving countries or interstate or even into a new neighbourhood, gives us the opportunity to make new friends.
Although I have been resident in Australia for many years, I am privileged to be part of a project to create a warm and inviting Friendship Space for migrant and refugee women in Melbourne.
The friendships that have already formed around this project sustain so many of us in different ways and we are building bridges between those who are familiar with the Australian way of life and the newer arrivals.
Moving on….
As the water flows down the waterfall, so too do emotions flow relentlessly when a parent dies and more so, when it is the last remaining parent and you become an orphan.
Many people are familiar with Elizabeth Kuebler-Ross’ Five Stages of Grief but there are other variables in the process.
Many people would also be familiar with the quotation “No man is an island”, which was a sermon by John Donne in the 16th century.
“No one is self-sufficient; everyone relies on others.”
But what happens if you have a long term partner or spouse?
Can you rely on the in-laws to emotionally support you as you go through your grieving process?
What about friends?
Who would you rely on?
It would be nice to move through the stages Kuebler-Ross outlined with no extraneous factors.
So what if you are feeling bereft of support?
Seeing a Grief Counsellor may help to work through underlying issues that were already in the family dynamic.
Meditation
Daily practice is what gets the results.
Most of the time we have good intentions and start a practice, but all too frequently I hear clients saying that “Something came up” and they couldn’t continue.
It is precisely at those times that a good meditation practice is the most helpful. Through a regular practice of meditation, and it really doesn’t matter what style, it becomes easier to clear the mind at times of stress, access creativity and perceive the world in quite a different way.
3 simple steps to setting up your meditation practice will help you to start your practice.
What can we give them?
What can we give them – who are old and failing
And sometimes weary of the passing years?
Only our tears and sorrow, unavailing.
With memories of past hopes and present fears.
While these our sons go gaily into the battle
We, who so love them, sit and wait in dread-
Of shreiking shell and the machine guns rattle,
All tense with hope – or fear that they be dead.
Our souls, sore wounded, when our loved one dies
Take comfort from the splendour of the skies.
For there, clear eyed, they look serenely down,
From their high vantage ground beyond the stars.
And having borne the Cross may wear the Crown,
And heal them of their travail and their scars.
They’ll tread again the pleasant paths of Heaven,
For Sacrifice is but its widest gate,
And Mercy is the soul of what was given,
Their gallant souls, whose love will vanquish hate.
Bright gifts we bring to England of our pain,
Oh England – England – take them not in vain.
Charles Corner
* Charles Corner was my maternal Great Grandfather and this poem was written for an anthology put together by my Grandmother, Eleanor Harper (nee Corner) and my father as a memorial to Uncle Teddy (Edward) who was a Lancaster bomber pilot who died in WW2.
The wanderer returns home
This is my Dad.
We had our differences when I was growing up and they were pretty full on at times. I left home at 19, but returned annually to catch up with Mum for many years and there was much left unspoken.
Mum died in 1999 and from that year on, Dad travelled over to spend Christmas with my family as my brother went to New Zealand to celebrate the holiday season with his wife’s family.
A bout of bowel cancer slowed him down a little …. and his increasing age, so he decided to sell up his unit in Perth and move to a retirement complex in the outer Melbourne suburbs to be closer to my family.
A difficult decision at 85.
Still a little wary of him, I visited weekly, taking him shopping on a Sunday and we slipped into a routine.
If he needed to go to the doctor, I took him.
The kids liked playing Ludo with him and we shared meals for significant occasions.
Heart attacks, one for him, one for me….
…we muddled along and along the way we became friends… finding that we had similar interests in religion, meditation, reincarnation…..
The kids promised to visit ….and did on occasions, stepping up nobly when we were travelling and taking him out for a special birthday lunch one year.
He turned 90… then 91… it seemed like he was going on forever… then earlier this year, his older brother died, then his sister’s husband. Suddenly he began to talk of the completing this life cycle….he became a little breathless… he fervently completed jumbo crosswords to prove that he wasn’t going senile.. and the chest pains began.
At first I thought it to be a result of greiving for the men he used to know, but the emergency department x-rays showed up what was thought to be pneumonia.
Stubbornly, he insisted he would be alright at home and I assured the doctor I would follow up with the GP.
The tests showed that he had lung cancer.
That was a Thursday. Ever independent, he caught the retirement village bus that afternoon to go and get a haircut and do his shopping.
My brother visited on the Monday, taking some time out from a conference that he was attending, to spend an hour or so with him.
On Tuesday, the pain intensified and an ambulance was called. He spent the afternoon in Emergency and was sent home that evening as he said he didn’t want any intervention.
By the Friday evening of that same week he had been admitted to a hospice for pain management as he was finding it difficult to move from the bed to the bathroom. Still independent, he fell from his bed as he tried to get to the bathroom…
A few days of care and the pain intensified… he hovered between here and the nether worlds….aware of what was happening and telling me about the experience…and on the sixth morning he slipped over to the other side and died peacefully in his sleep……